Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 89

Day 587: Still no sign of any movement from above after last week’s explosion. I have been surviving on a meal of rat, when one of the unlucky creates finds its way into my cell, and piled up dirt. I do not know how much longer I can stand this. I need to escape. I need to see my family again. Will they even remember me? Some of the wall of my cell crumbled apart with the last explosion. Maybe I can tunnel my way out. In the meantime, here are some short Steam Greenlight “reviews.” As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without actually playing the “games” in question.

Is that... is that a monkey on the left?

What even are these things?!

EggK47

This is a game about an angry chicken that shoots up stuff with an egg gun or something. Which seems a bit weird, if you think about it. The chicken is angry that all her friends were killed by the farmers, but then she shoots eggs at people? That is like a cow shooting a gun that fires calves or a human shooting a gun that uses aborted fetuses as ammo. Just kind of off message, if you ask me. Oh, and also the graphics look like something out of an early Nintendo 64 game and the trailer stutters more than a teenager who was just caught masturbating by his mother. Complete garbage that will, and should, never see the light of day.

Best Comment: FerrousBueller: “Eat a smegma burrito.”

Or better yet, shoot whoever maintains Steam Greenlight's database.

I wish one of these guns would shoot me.

Will survive only one

I do not even know the point of this game. It is just gun dueling over and over again. In boring, black and white graphics. My favorite part is that the single player mode is just called “Alone.” And the multiplayer mode is called “Two.” That clears things up pretty well. I think. I guess I am still confused. What goes through the mind of someone who thinks this is good enough to show off to the public? Not only the public, but the entire internet. The entire, judgmental evil mean internet. Remember everyone: cyber-bullying IS a crime. I will NOT hesitate to report you to the FBI if you cyber-bully me. Just ask my friend Katie. When she gets out of prison in 10-15 years. Hehehehehehe. This game sucks.

Best Comment: Marfung: “Yep, I called it. Adding the video only made things worse.”

What?

What.

Cat or Bread?

“Maybe you think that it is bread, but it is not the bread is a cat! Dont eat it!
A casual game where you need to click on the cat , that would save them. The main thing is not to mix them with bread . Think and get as many points as possible.” I have no words for this. I think this game is a joke, but I just do not get it. Maybe it is the culture difference. Or maybe it is because this game is garbage, much like everything else on Greenlight. I have a feeling this will not go over well in the Asian countries. Get it? Because they eat cats there. It is funny, racist, and hilarious!

Best Comment: KoopaKlown: “Listing a game as casual doesn’t help disguise the fact that it’s barely a game. Also I’m not too active on the Internet so I would honestly like to know, is this memes?”

8 comments on “Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 89”

  1. This is the best Steam Greenlight roundup in recent memory. Bup is on fire this week. Long live Greenlight Round-Up!!

  2. Some of the wall of my cell crumbled apart with the last explosion. Maybe I can tunnel my way out.
    Spoilers: your cell is only connected to other cells which is connected to other cells. Forever.

    the graphics look like something out of an early Nintendo 64 game and the trailer stutters more than a teenager who was just caught masturbating by his mother
    Wow.

    Remember everyone: cyber-bullying IS a crime. I will NOT hesitate to report you to the FBI if you cyber-bully me.
    Where is Anti-Bully Ranger when you need her? Oh right. On Twitter.

    Maybe you think that it is bread, but it is not the bread is a cat! Dont eat it!
    Wow. Again.

    What a selction this week. WHAT A SELECTION.

  3. So I guess you don’t have a sense of humor? EggK47 is a funny idea lol. And a chicken shooting eggs at farmers Nintendo style is pretty funny. But hey, I guess we all got an opinion. Personally I think people should look for themselves and see that the developer worked hard and the game is at the very least funny. I for one wanna see more from this developer and his games. Guess you either get it or you don’t. I get it. So I’m voting it UP. I wanna see this game in all its glory!!

  4. So the chickens have revolted…everything is going according to plan.

  5. EggK47 is a funny idea lol.

    Putting ‘lol’ on the end of a sentence doesn’t make it true.

Comments are closed.