Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 90

Day 594: I have successfully dug a tunnel. I had to fashion a shovel out of my discarded fingernail clippings and hair. Today I finally saw beams of light peeking through the dirt. But then I heard voices. I quickly covered up the opening to my tunnel and went back to this article. I will escape. As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without actually playing the “games” in question.

My boner.

I wonder how much development time went into that rack.

Bloody Boobs

This game was created just so the developer could masturbate without looking at “real” porn. According to the description, this is a multiplayer survival horror game in which the player attempts to escape a dungeon with the help of his or her teammates. All while some ancient god is trying to eat the player or something. However, I bet this will just become a bunch of pathetic 14 year olds just JOing to their characters because they are too stupid to figure out how to bypass Net Nanny. Seriously, I bet more than half of the development time of this “game” was spent on modeling the breasts. They are stupidly big. Which makes sense, because this game is just stupid.

Best Comment: Squadalaxd®: “fucking garbage, bo”

Seriously, let's just forget this.

I’d rather not.

Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War

“Japanese is an exciting and interesting language.” Nope! It is boring and annoying to learn. This is some sort of RPG game, made in RPG Maker too, where the player has to learn Japanese to fight battles….? What? So it is like an edutainment game? Okay, I can get down with this. To be honest, if this was made by a real game development studio, this could be good. Mixing the RPG elements with language learning could actually be fun. However, this game was made by a Japanese-obsessed weeaboo in RPG Maker, so there is no way it will be any fun. It will use the same two sprites over and over again, have multiple spelling or grammar mistakes, and probably will not even really teach anyone Japanese. It will teach people, or reinforce for some, that RPG Maker is crap and should be expelled from the world.

Best Comment: Tyr: “Why?”

CRICKET!

This is way better than baseball.

JUST BAT (VR CRICKET)

A poo poo and a pee pee.

Best Comment: [PGC] Doctor_GLaDOS #TeamHeavy: “‘JUST BAT is a revolutionary new VR CRICKET game’ ‘An innovative new control system’ It’s not F2P, VR shovelware.”

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