News: Making VR Great Again!

They can't go anywhere but where the tracks take them.
NeoGaf are all aboard the Trump train!

Oculus Trumps the Competition

This has not been a very good week for NeoGaf. No, this has not been a very good week at all for them. One half of their sanctimonious forums are currently fatalistic, while the other half is on suicide watch! The idiots of NeoGaf championed Palmer Luckey, the founder of Oculus, as the great saviour of VR. They supported and raised him up, and proceeded to pay $800 for Oculus Rifts even after he sold out to Facebook – and now it has been revealed that this anointed one who was fated to lead NeoGaf to virtual nirvana has instead used the seven hundred million dollar fortune that he amassed off their backs in order to fund meme warfare against sick Hillary Clinton.

Thanks guys.

Palmer Luckey has revealed that he is currently the vice president of Nimble America, a 501(c)(4) organisation dedicated to making America great again, which is also staffed by Milo Yiannopoulis [because of course it is], along with several mods from r/The_Donald. The group plans to purchase billboard space during the presidential debates in order to post dank memes in support of the God-Emperor Donald Trump. As Luckey puts it:

I thought it sounded like a real jolly good time.

NeoGaf, on the other hand, is feeling a mite less sanguine about Palmer Luckey’s first foray into philanthropy. Apparently he is putting at risk their grand virtual utopia which was to usher forward the next evolution of mankind:

When you’re responsible for building technology being touted as a huge step for humanity, the discovery of the fact that you deny the humanity of the vast majority of this world’s population is not a ‘non-event.’

NeoGaf literally cannot even. They have squandered their paychecks on propping up a secret “Neo Nazi” who has used their patronage to fund “white supremacist” activities. For goodness sake it is [CURRENT YEAR], does that irresponsible pissbaby not realise that it is gross and immature to support the wrong presidential candidate? Obviously NeoGaf are now calling for Luckey to be sacked from his largely ceremonial role at Oculus. Too bad he already has all of their money!

Oh, but congratulations to these fine moral arbiters on their ability to harass Palmer Luckey’s girlfriend off of Twitter. That was nicely done.

That is to say former anchor baby, not former Mexican. He's still Mexican.
[PICTURED]: A former Mexican anchor baby. Probably.

The Wall Just Got Taller

This has not been a very good week for NeoGaf. No, this has not been a very good week at all for them. In fact if things keep going as they are then [CURRENT YEAR] may even be their anus horribilis – though luckily a pinch of Zestria (TM) can clear that right up. Not only did the virtuous folk of NeoGaf have to shoulder the burden of materially supporting the Neo Nazi destruction of their precious VR this week, but they also had to watch powerless as Japanese white supremacists at D3 Publisher unleashed their dire racism across the PS4. That is to say that Earth Defense Force 5 was revealed this week for the PS4, and the swarms of marauding alien ants have been renamed to ‘immigrants’ – the horror!

Now, to the untrained eye this may simply look to be the case of a Japanese developer taking advantage of a cute little immigrANTS pun, and quite apart from the fact that it may seem like a perfectly legitimate use of the word ‘immigrant’ in order to describe a foreign entity seeking to migrate elsewhere, NeoGaf knows better than to believe this. This is D3 Publisher declaring their hand for Trump. These Japanese devs have internalised Palmer Luckey’s Neo Nazi message of white supremacist hate to the extent that they made a game about building a wall out of big, beautiful gunfire. If there were any doubt as to D3 Publisher’s intent then one only need to look at the description of the game’s enemies:

The number of attacking Immigrants is high, and they come in a variety of forms. The most basic of these is the “Aggressive Alien Species α”. They are agile and dangerous, using both fangs and their ability to release a very potent acid to attack.

So just like real immigrants then? It is a small mercy that Earth Defense Force 5 devs do not have the game’s enemies chant the traditional foreign greeting of ‘ficki ficki’ as they advance. But it gets worse:

they began to attack through the use of Teleportation Anchors; large structures that appear to work as a one-way transport of matter, allowing them to attack easily from any anchor they drop.

This is a shocking way to dehumanise Mexican infants. As an anchor baby himself,’s Adeki is no doubt very triggered by this turn of events! Well, the good people of NeoGaf are having none of it:

D3, publicly apologize and cancel EDF5 or you can kiss your business goodbye.

You hear that, D3 Publisher? Cancel your game else risk losing the patronage of tens of dozens of NeoGaffers! In all seriousness, this is just another example of the disgusting insularity of American Social Justice Warriors who are perpetually of the opinion that all entertainment should be viewed through the myopic American social lens regardless of where on earth it originates from. D3 Publisher obviously did not intend to have their game directly reference American contemporary social issues, but if they hold their nerve and retain the immigrants pun then this could very possibly be the highest selling entry in the Earth Defense Force series as the result of being marketed by all this special snowflake bile.

On a lighter note, this humble author was just commenting the other day how upon hearing EDL one’s brain tends to automatically translate it as EDF – so this further blurring of the lines could very well be the result of meme magic.

I can't wait to see the damage control for this!
We still listen to this idiot, why?

Let My PC Go!

Several days ago the tabloid news site Daily Star published an interview they had conducted with perpetually wrong industry analyst, Michael Pachter. The interviewer had asked him whether the additional power of the PS4 Pro might entice PC gamers over to console, and in response to this the site claimed that Pachter had called PC gamers ‘twits’ and likened them to ‘racists’ when opining toward the negative:

I think PC Gamers are like racists; they only like their own kind and they have no interest in venturing out and mixing with other races.

PC gamers are arrogant twits who are convinced what they do is better than what anybody else can possibly do.

In response to this Pachter came out swinging. He pretty much claimed that the story was almost entirely fabricated, and that the tabloid had essentially created it as a sensationalised click bait article – the kind that is typical of tabloid publications:

Of one thing, I am certain: I have never used the word “twit” in my life. The reporter I am thinking of was British, and likely misunderstood something I said. I am sure I said PC gamers are arrogant, as are PS Fanboys and Xbots, for that matter..

I absolutely used the term racist, but only upon being questioned repeatedly about what I meant when I called PC gamers insular.

When pressed to explain “insular”, I believe that I elaborated by saying “like religion, race or politics, PC gamers tend to stick with people who are like minded”. I very likely said “like racists” when asked to elaborate further, but clearly was joking, however inappropriate.

The reporting here was irresponsible. I’ve done 6000 interviews over the last 15 years (we’re required to log them), and somehow, have been able to hide my bigoted side until today . . . I’m not sure what the “reporter” was trying to do, other than stir the pot. Yes, I said that the PS4 Pro probably wouldn’t appeal to PC gamers, The rest is just silly.

Obviously in response to this very persuasive argument the gaming sites who had run with the story were very apologetic towards Pachter, quickly printing retractions, with Niche Gamer even indicating that they would think twice before ever running a Daily Star story again:

We apologize for any confusion made in the original publication and will be double checking sources if ever using Daily Star as the primary source moving forward.

Funnily enough however, seemingly unbeknownst to Pachter, Daily Star had made an audio recording of the exchange which they were happy to provide. Can readers guess what this audio record contained?

Daily Star: For gamers that are more traditionally PC who have seen the announcement (PS4 Pro) may they be more inclined to maybe go for that?

Michael Pachter: PC gamers are like racists where they only like their own kind and they have no interest in venturing out and mixing with other races. PC Gamers are arrogant twits who are convinced at what they do is better than anyone else could possibly do.

Boom. There is nothing wrong with what Pachter originally said. Acknowledging their elitism is often a point of pride for PC gamers, and they tend to have a good sense of humour about being part of the ‘PC master race’. PC gamers are deservedly arrogant about their platform on account of gaming on more powerful hardware, with more accurate controls, and a greater degree of flexibility with how they play their games. They do tend to stick with their own kind, much like racists. This may have been an inelegant thing for him to say, and his blanket-calling them ‘twits’ may have been a little bit cringy, but then Pachter should be no stranger to a smidgen of baseline ridicule on account of the inaccuracy of his predictions. Instead of copping this he chose to lie to everybody instead.

Pachter could have simply copped the story of ‘Michael Pachter says something dumb’, but has instead opted to go with the story of ‘Michael Pachter has been caught in a blatant lie’. Worse, his lie was in service of impugning the reputation of a Daily Star gaming reporter, James Wright, who may have been denied interview opportunities going forward as a result of the belief that he fabricates interviews in order to create controversy. It must have seemed like the perfect crime to Pachter, seeing as the public’s trust in tabloid reporting is not especially high – but he did not take technology into account when choosing to lie, and he is a complete ‘twit’ for having done so.


  1. I despise Trump, but buying up billboard space for the purpose of posting dank memes DOES sound “like a real jolly good time.”

    The fact that NeoGaf users are trying to paint every person not in their political boat as “Nazis” and “white supremacists” tells one exactly who the real bigots are.

    “[CURRENT YEAR] may even be their anus horribilis”
    Hee hee I think you mean annus

    “D3, publicly apologize and cancel EDF5 or you can kiss your business goodbye.”

    Also: Michael Pachter is precisely as newsworthy as people who stand on street corners prophesying the end of the world next week: which is to say, not at all.

  2. The fact that NeoGaf users are trying to paint every person not in their political boat as “Nazis” and “white supremacists” tells one exactly who the real bigots are.

    The thing is that my article hardly even does the situation justice. There is nothing quite like reading 1000 consecutive accusations of Nazism!

  3. To put it another way, there were even some NeoGaffers who were complaining about being demonised for their white skin [though complaints tended to result in bans].

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