Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 96

Day 643: Ethos is still here with me, but he hasn’t woken up since I first found him a week ago. What is he doing here? Why is he here? Is he here to stop me… or help me? His breathing is normal, so I think he will be okay. Time will tell when he wakes up and lets me know his plan. As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without playing the “games” in question.

Please die, RPG Maker.

I hate RPG Maker.

TrumpQuest

Wow, two of my least favorite things rolled into one: Trump and RPG Maker. “TrumpQuest was created by a 10 year old in his mom’s basement after consuming too much redbull and having too much time on his hand.” Hahaha, so random and funny! Like, what if we made a game… an RPG… but you play as TRUMP! Hahahaha get it? See, it is funny because Donald Trump is currently running for President of the United States of America. So hilarious! I sure hope this game gets released on Steam! End of sarcasm. Seriously, why? Why waste your time with this? Why waste $100 on this garbage? It is not funny, it is not clever, it is not interesting. Stop. Stop with all RPG Maker games. The only way this could be worse is if it were anime themed. I hope nobody makes an anime-themed Trump RPG Maker game….

Best Comment: Save the Queen: “Insulting your own game in your trailer, saving me the trouble.”

I know I often have shelves in which I put nothing on!

Wow, what a great looking empty room!

Be Safe

Cool, another Left 4 Dead clone that nobody wants or asked for! “Your city is infected by Solanum Virus. Everyone is madly thirsty…” Sounds like the club at 2 AM hahahaha! “…for blood.” Oh. Maybe a vampire club. “There are some survivors out there; you have to reach out to them and
form a team/family in order to survive, kill the infected and be a part to bring a new generation without any fear.” So, you get to bang in this game? Nice. Nice. “You must speed up, use your mind and engage in social activities in order to BE SAFE.” But what if I’m anti-social? Can I just help out when the zombies attack? I do not want to play touch football or something like that.

Best Comment: E. Dash: “Hell no.. This developer is the worst. Seriously, none of these horrible asset flip garbage games this developer craps out should be green lit.”

Just barf.

Barf.

Zombie Castle Attack

Cool, another tower defense game… this time with zombies?! That has never happened before! I am so glad someone is making a zombie game! Nobody ever does! Oh, wait never mind. It seems like every one out of five games is a zombie game. This game is garbage. Zombie games are garbage. Please stop making zombie things, people. Nobody cares anymore. Find a new niche to overuse.

Best Comment: wilco64256: “This is absolutely horrible in every possible way. The changes I would suggest would be to literally change everything about this game. There’s no way I would ever pay money for it. Downvoting.”

3 comments on “Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 96”

  1. No Trump video game can surpass the quality of Mr. President!.

    Also I’m so glad there’s only “1 zombi wave,” it’s the little things that count.

  2. Okay, it’s an RPG Maker game, where you play as a zombie ninja who has to gather materials like waffles and sporks to build equipment, and the goal is to take down the Illuminati. All of the battles play out as tower defense games, and you randomly get jumpscares during them. Much of the story plays out like an anime dating sim, you pick up Shrek and Michael Jordan as party members along the way, and towards the end you find out Trump and Hillary are working together to start the new world order. Also, it’s made in Russia and badly translated. Doe that cover everything?

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