Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 97

Day 650: Ethos woke up last night. Just for a minute, but he looked right in my eyes and told me to stop my plan of blowing up Lusipurr’s castle. Then he passed out again, but he has been murmuring “Lusipurr” and “Greenlight” almost constantly in his sleep. Wait, he is stirring again… My God… If what he is saying is true, that just means I must accomplish my goals even more than before. I have new explosives, I have a new drone. Now all I need is to find the right time to pull it off. Ethos told me that Lusipurr IS Greenlight. As always these “reviews” are written with 100% bias and without actually playing the “games” in question.

So beautiful!

Wow, cool! A generic, dark hallway!

The Artist

Hey, remember that game Myst? Remember how it was pretty cool for the time, because there was not anything else like it out there? Remember playing it later and realizing that even though it is significant in influencing a lot of future games, Myst is not that good? Remember how you can beat it in about five minutes because the end game is hidden in like the first or second area you walk through? Well this game is exactly like that, so there is no point in it existing. DO SOMETHING NEW!

Best Comment: ricardoastefani: “How do i put a picture in my game description ?”

Doom 2.

Doom.

Cemetery Warrior 3

This is just a crappy version of Doom. Do yourself a favor and, instead of playing this garbage, play the newest Doom by Bethesda. It is pretty good.

Best Comment: ReallyMadHobo: “You would think this guy would stop after 25 shitty greenlight games.”

Wait, who is that girl in the bottom left corner?!

Coo, I don’t like to see what’s going on while I play.

final m00n – Defender of the Cubes

I do not know what I hate the most about this game: the generic graphics, the random “alien” woman on the screen that is apparently supposed to give you hints, the fact that you can barely tell what is going on from most of the screenshots, or that each area you “defend” is called “m00n.” Yep, that is not a typo: “m00n.” Apparently this is a 2.5D side scrolling shooter game in which you defend human settlements on “m00ns” from aliens trying to destroy them. It does not get any more generic than that. Oh, and not only do you have to defeat all the attacking aliens, but you also have to defend the oxygen, food, and energy “cubes” or else the game is over. Cool, sounds like this will not be fun at all! The perfect addition to Steam Greenlight.

Best Comment: A Pretty Queer Princess: “Well this is a terrible mess of words shapes and lights.”

3 comments on “Editorial: Greenlight Round-Up, Vol. 97”

  1. 25 Steam Greenlight games shows dedication, we should give that guy a studio.

  2. I wonder why Bup is so familiar with Ethos’s sleeping habits……………………

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