Editorial: Dress Well, Avoid Hell

When you are the size of a small town, it is hard to find suits and clothing items that fit well. Instead, people in Adeki’s large shoes usually wear large towels that are sewn together in the tens in order to come off as “clothed.” So, those unfortunate souls look to video games to let them imagine how well they could be dressed. In order to raise a glass for those who are too busy holding a controller, this editorial will be about three well-dressed characters in gaming. Please note that no characters in the “Kingdom Hearts” franchise are allowed in this editorial due to the excessive amount of zippers.

But just LOOK at how well he wears that suit.
He is so small, and skeletal.

First up is none other than the skeleton with style, Manny Calavera himself from the game Grim Fandango. The game is centered around Manny’s life, well, after-life, as he navigates the Land of the Dead and the corruption involved. Originally a travel agent to navigate souls to the Land of Eternal Rest, throughout the course of the game Manny ends up trying to reach the Land of Eternal Rest himself. Of course, a protagonist’s journey is only as exciting as his sense of style (as every true gamer knows) and Manny’s sense of style is as dramatic as the plot. Being a skeleton, it is unfortunately difficult to wear a fitting suit given the many gaps yet somehow Manny is able to fit snuggly in his suit in an almost polygonal fashion. Not to exclude the other characters in Grim Fandango, Carla is also a very fashionable dresser in an otherwise bleak and desolate land of the dead. So, that is a small but pleasant victory for woman skeletons everywhere.

A baby with a really cool hat, damn it.
Look at his tiny little body, like a baby.

Second to the party is Gomez from the popular platformer Fez for his beautiful and titular fez. Fez is a game all about the complex in a seemingly simple world, although at first it may look like a basic platformer the game changes as it embraces all three dimensions which Gomez can switch through at will. Gomez uses his powers for good as he collects both cubes and anti-cubes in order to fix the universe which was somehow thrown out of whack by the appearance of the red fez. Speaking of which, the fez, which did somehow give Gomez his power of dimension switching, is also really cool looking while staying simple. Although Gomez does not seem to be wearing much else, the fez itself is just as useful as it is appealing to the eye as it gives him a way to stand out from the rest of his people. So many games focus on elaborate costumes with way too many damn zippers, and maybe they should instead have focused on making the game good while just leaving the protagonist nude and featureless aside from a nice hat. The moral of the story is that more characters in video games should wear nice hats.

Even hotter than Gruntilda in last week's post...one would assume.
Now this…THIS is fashion.

Last is Agent 47 from the “Hitman” franchise, not because of his tendency to wear a powerful suit with a red tie, but rather his astonishing ability to pull off almost every outfit he wears. No matter the outfit he must wear, 47 is almost always able to fit perfectly inside of it and wear it with the eye-piercing confidence of a young Alec Baldwin before he aged. Sometimes the outfit he has to don is as simple as a security guard in order to access blocked off areas and other times there are situations in which he must impersonate world-famous male models. In between are other random outfits like wearing the 3D-printed faces of his targets or just to look “normal” in an otherwise persecuted world. Sadly, Agent 47 does not wear many hats during his adventure because he likes to show off his shiny bald head and use it as a weapon to blind unsuspecting citizens, alas.

So, that was it for this week’s editorial all about dressing up real fancy like. Do you enjoy dressing up? Or are you someone who would much rather prefer wearing a t-shirt with some jeans and calling it a day? Or do you just have a suggestion for an editorial that has never been thought of before? Make sure to leave a comment below and let us know what you think!

5 comments

  1. @Lusipurr: The games, like the groove, is in the heart.

    @Sebastian: He had such dazzling eyes.

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