News: No Thanks!

Jade Empire comes highly recommended.

Probably the closest a Bioware game has ever come to actually being pretty.

Bioware May Be Looking at a Jade Empire Sequel

Of all of Bioware’s games, Jade Empire is this author’s absolute favourite. From the pitch perfect Hong Kong martial arts setting with a whimsical fantasy twist, to the game’s use of humour – everything just hit the right note. After playing Jade Empire eleven years ago one has been pining for a sequel ever since, particularly in the post-Mass Effect world where Bioware was bought by EA and took a hard turn away from RPG mechanics. Now though it looks like we may finally be receiving that long awaited sequel, if the comments of Mike Laidlaw and Aaryn Flynn are any indication. Speaking to Game Informer, Laidlaw has stated:

Jade as a sequel is never dead. There are a lot of people still at the studio who worked on that game and want to get back to it.

Flynn immediately backed him up, adding:

I think one of the advantages to getting back to it after a long time is not only nostalgia is a very powerful feeling in people, but skipping a generation of hardware is actually really exciting because it feels like it’s not an evolution. It’s a revolution of what you can do, and I think that’s the kind of thing that brings people. What if we were to revolutionize Jade Empire and brought it back in that regard? That’s the kind of talk that still happens around the studio.

So this is great news, right? Yeah, not so much. One would have dearly loved a Jade Empire sequel from the studio that made the original, but Bioware in the [CURRENT YEAR] is not the same studio. Too many of the original employees have left, and have been replaced with rainbow-haired hack snowflakes like Hamburger Helper and the chick who claimed to have been literally raped by Grand Theft Auto. Dragon Age Origins was a pretty dope game, but that did not stop Dragon Age Inquisition from being one of the worst RPGs ever created. That is to say that it does not matter how awesome the original Jade Empire was, because a bad game will only ever be a bad game irrespective of the devs might try to dress it up, and modern day Bioware only seems capable of producing bad games. So no thank you, Bioware – this gamer is not interested in a Jade Empire sequel.

Happy festival fireworks!

BOOM!

Shinji Hashimoto Discusses the Prospects for Final Fantasy X-3

From talk of one unnecessary sequel to another, Shinji Hashimoto was asked about a potential Final Fantasy X-3 during the week. Final Fantasy X-2 wrapped up the Final Fantasy X story quite neatly, but then Square Enix came along and unpicked that resolution with a couple of pieces of derivative fiction that were produced to commemorate the release of the Final Fantasy X / X-2 HD Collection. One was a radio drama that came with copies of the HD Collection and told the story of dead people mysteriously returning from the Farplane, and the other as a short story written by Kazushige Nojima, which tells the tale of how Tidus kicked an explosive Blitzball and had his head blown off. This obviously leaves the franchise on a bit of a cliffhanger, and so it is no surprise that fans have begun asking after the next installment:

Hashimoto says Final Fantasy X/X-2’s HD Remaster sold well thanks to all the fans. As far as Final Fantasy X-3 goes, he acknowledges that fans have expectations after having been presented a bit of its plot in the audio drama. However, he says that there’s currently facing a wall that cannot be climbed—with director/character designer Tetsuya Nomura and producer/director Yoshinori Kitase both being occupied, they’re unable to work on Final Fantasy VII Remake, Kingdom Hearts III, and Final Fantasy X-3 all at the same time. Square Enix is focusing more on titles that have been announced for now, so he asks fans to wait a little longer [for anything on Final Fantasy X-3.]

So basically the company did not have the capacity to begin development on a new entry in the series, yet decided to pick apart the resolved ending of Final Fantasy X-2 anyway. This is what makes being a Square Enix fan such a dismal and frustrating experience – they never know when to leave well enough alone. Sometimes developers really need to know when it is preferable to leave a concluded story arc. It seems more than a little irresponsible to introduce a whole bundle of dangling threads to the world of Spira when the production of Final Fantasy X-3 is not yet a surety.

This picture is probably mostly accurate.

I can’t wait to see how ugly a mobile phone demake turns out being.

Final Fantasy XV To Receive a Mobile Phone MMO Spin-Off

After the complete shitshow that has been Final Fantasy XV‘s development, what is the one thing that could make the situation even more perfect? Apparently the game’s content was not quite repetitive enough, and so Square Enix has decided to turn the game into an MMO for mobile phones! Essentially it will have the same characters, story, and soundtrack – yet it will be a mobile game in a similar vein to Final Fantasy Agito, which was derived from Final Fantasy Type-0. Final Fantasy Agito was discontinued in record time, and there in no reason to think that a Final Fantasy XV will fare any better. The game is being jointly developed by Square Enix and Machine Zone. Square Enix president, Yosuke Matsuda, described the relationship as suck:

Machine Zone has a stellar track record in the mobile gaming space and we are putting FINAL FANTASY XV in trustworthy hands. We are very excited to work with the MZ team to bring together two leaders in the gaming world and look forward to FINAL FANTASY XV on MZ’s amazing gaming platform. We’ll work together to create MZ’s next great global mobile MMO game.

If you have ever wondered what a Final Fantasy game would look like if it was redeveloped from the ground up by a purveyor of low-grade phone apps then look no further! No genre suits the untactile interface of modern phones quite like the action RPG. Anybody who thought Final Fantasy XV‘s combat looked a tad clunky is bound to have a blast with this game’s primitive swipes. It currently looks like the game May get a Western release seeing as the press release was written in Engish, but it could just as easily end up being quietly cancelled like Final Fantasy Agito

2 comments on “News: No Thanks!”

  1. Of all of Bioware’s games, Jade Empire is this author’s absolute favourite.
    It’s a dark day in Australialand.

    the tale of how Tidus kicked an explosive Blitzball and had his head blown off. This obviously leaves the franchise on a bit of a cliffhanger,
    No it doesn’t! He’s dead. End of series! Move on!

    it is no surprise that fans have begun asking after the next installment
    WHO!? WHERE!? I refuse to believe this! It’s like saying, “Fans are clamoring for the next Broken Age game!” Sure. Some diseased idiot is, but that’s not a majority of fans or even a significant number full stop.

    If you have ever wondered what a Final Fantasy game would look like if it was redeveloped from the ground up by a purveyor of low-grade phone apps
    Final Fantasy VI on iOS?

    We’ll work together to create MZ’s next great global mobile MMO game.
    I wish they would work together on ending mobile game development.

  2. WHO!? WHERE!? I refuse to believe this! It’s like saying, “Fans are clamoring for the next Broken Age game!” Sure. Some diseased idiot is, but that’s not a majority of fans or even a significant number full stop.

    I said ‘fans’ rather than all or even most fans. I’m talking about the two or three fans in every crowd that keep pestering SE employees for a sequel every time they give a Q&A – and to be fair SE has created this situation, most likely deliberately, by dicking around with what used to be a concluded narrative. Since SE are using abusing their FFVII ace in the hole I believe they are trying to artificially force FFX into becoming what FFVII used to be; the carrot they repeatedly dangle in front of the half-dead donkey in order to keep it moving forward.

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