Editorial: A Peripheral by Any Other Name Is Just as Short

Remember last year’s editorial when there was an editorial highlighting some free games gamers might have missed in they year 2015? Well, that post is coming next week in the bizarre case that an amazing free to play video game will come out in the three days between this editorial and the new year. It is always a good ideas to take precautions and not get too overexcited. Instead, this editorial will focus on three gaming peripherals (those add-on thingamajigs like the Donkey Konga Bongos) ranging from the required to the “Is this what video games are now?” level.

Yes, the same people behind Borderlands. Not even kidding around.
Developed by Gearbox Software!

First to the party are the maraca controllers for Samba de Amigo, which were originally used in the arcade version of the game through magnetic sensors. So, when the home game was released each maraca had to be plugged into a bar which used science-y stuff involving triangulation and ultrasonic transmitters for accurate maraca measurements. Not only this, but a brown mat was also included to keep the player in the correct stance because the game was not complicated enough already. That was always the fun of maracas, having to stand still in order to be judged on the user’s shaking abilities. But hey, at least the maracas could also be used in Mr. Driller to control the character for some reason. Maybe this was the driving inspiration behind the Bongos in the critically-acclaimed Donkey Konga which was released only four years after. Later, when Samba de Amigo was ported to the Wii it was a lot easier and just required that the Wiimote be plugged into a maraca shaped mold.

God Bless SEGA, if only more companies made fishing rod controllers.
No really, this existed and was sold.

Second up to the party is the Dreamcast Fishing Controller specifically designed for fishing games on the Dreamcast console. Now, the people can say what they want about SEGA, about the “Sonic the Hedgehog franchise,” but SEGA cornered the market as being the only company to produce a fishing controller for a home console. Not only could the Dreamcast Fishing Controller be used in games such as Reel Fishing: Wild and Sega Bass Fishing, but it could also be used to play SoulCalibur (no, unfortunately that is not a lie). With the Dreamcast Fishing Controller so many secrets arise as to why it is the way it is and why it can not be used to control Big in Sonic Adventure, but SEGA knew what they were doing, the long con. SEGA knew that this controller would be talked about in the years to come by being so weirdly specific to play certain games that only a fishing enthusiast who owned a Dreamcast would take comfort in. This is SEGA’s world, and gamers are just living in it.

But it can be used for such great evils.
Such a tiny device…

Last up is the Rez Trance Vibrator which pulses in time with the game’s music and was intended to be placed in a pocket, or held. It was created because the original DualShock controller’s vibration was found to be too weak for producer Tetsuya Mizuguchi, a man known for his love of vibration (probably). Unfortunately it was only sold in Japan in a specially packaged version of the game but thanks to the mail system Americans were able to get their hands (among other things) on the device of legends. Of course, if readers have not gotten the subtle suggestion that was just made, it is that one could play Rez and shove that Trance Vibrator so far up themselves that **** ***** ******* ****** ****** ****** ********* and then get a refreshing iced coffee at their local Starbucks™. Technically speaking, any iced coffee could work but then Adeki would not be getting paid under the table. The best past is that now the Trance Vibrator can be plugged and operated in the average Joe’s PC, the pleasure is for everyone!

So there it is, Adeki’s last post of 2016, can you believe he has made it to the end of two consecutive years here at Lusipurr.com? So what are your favorite gaming peripherals? Or do you just hate the idea of having to complicate video games through meaningless accessories that are designed to “immerse” the player? Or maybe you have suggestions for future editorials? Let us know in the comments below and have an adequate new year!

5 comments

  1. One of the worst accessories ever doesn’t qualify as peripheral, really, since Sega forced people to use the damn thing to save games. I am referring of course to the VMU, which sucks.

  2. @Adeki I have seen your head up close. You have pubes on your skull, not usb powered folderol.

  3. @Sebsatian: VMU was just…yeah.

    @Lusipurr: You’ll see my hair again soon.

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