News: Nintendo, Pls!

Nintendo Delists Tropical Freeze on Wii U

See, this is why people hate Nintendo. Next to nobody bought a Wii U, fewer even than people who bought a Vita. Given the limited library of the Wii U, it is safe to say that essentially every Wii U owner who wanted to purchase Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze has already done so. Granted, there is likely a small pool of Wii U owners who would buy the Wii U version of Tropical Freeze this week if given the opportunity to do so, yet this group is so small that they do not have any significance.

Not buying the game now. This is bullshit.

Perhaps it is this kind of abuse which explains why Nintendonlies uniformly suffer from Stockholm Syndrome?

So 13 million Wii U’s have been sold, essentially everyone who wanted to buy Tropical Freeze has already done so, and a fair amount of these people likely do not even have their Wii U’s hooked up anymore, in favour of the Nintendo Switch. On top of this there has not been a big Switch release for a couple of months, and a lot of people are genuinely excited to be able to play Tropical Freeze on their new Nintendo console. The Switch is a pleasant platform to use, so this port of Tropical Freeze already has so much going for it…

… Nintendo just could not leave it at that though! There was no downside to just leaving the Wii U owners well enough alone. Yes, $60 is a steep price to ask for a game which released for $50 on Wii U, and which until this week was available for the price of $20. Despite this, Switch owners seem to have been quite eager to buy Tropical Freeze on a nicer piece of hardware.

If Nintendo had done the decent thing by Wii U owners then they would be risking literally ones of twos of Switch sales – but Nintendo cannot simply not be dicks. And so Nintendo has delisted the game for purchase on the Wii U in order to prevent the extremely unlikely scenario wherein the Switch version of the game faced any competition whatsoever from the obscure Wii U version. What an extremely premeditated and tricky thing to do! Just how miserly can one company be? This is why people hate Nintendo. This is why people root for the company to fail. Fuck Nintendo!

Dragon Quest XI Gets Exclusive Pre-Order Bonuses in the Americas

In so many ways Dragon Quest is a throwback to simpler, better times, back when games were wholesome and good. Despite that Square Enix are unwilling to let it stand without at least one modern vidya trapping. Perish the thought of ever releasing Dragon Quest XI into the wild without first plying consumers with a confusing flowchart instructing them as to where and where not they they will be able to obtain retail exclusive pre-order items!

How about just releasing the game?

Dragon Quest XI couldn’t be allowed to just stand on its own.

American customers of GameStop and Canadian customers of EB Games will receive eight 2 inch buttons which depict characters from the game. These customers will also receive exclusive digital items: the Elevating Vest, and three Seeds of Skill. The Elevating Vest is an accessory which grants its wearer some additional EXP from battles, and the Seeds of Skill allow users to boost various character parameters by one point (obviously).

Amazon customers will also receive some pre-order goodies, so good news for Lusipurr! They will not receive any physical bonuses like the character buttons, but they will nonetheless receive digital bonuses: Arriviste’s Vest, and three Seeds of Skill. Arriviste’s Vest grants the user extra money from battles, which is probably actually more useful in a Dragon Quest game than a small boost to EXP.

Gamevice Is Trying to Block Switch Shipments to the US

This week it was revealed that Gamevice has hit up the United States International Trade Commission to request that Nintendo be slapped with a cease and desist against shipping their popular Switch console to the US. Well that is too bad! How unfortunate for Nintendo! Hey Nintendo, it would be a real shame if someone was a complete dick to you! Worry not though, Nintendo, one is certain that your fanbase will be able to commiserate with you – after all, they have been hit with many cease and desist letters recently too!

Fuck them!

AM2R’s Samus Aran is playing the world’s smallest violin for Nintendo!

Okay, so this is obviously a bullshit shakedown. Gamevice make shitty controller attachments for smartphones and tablets – and their claim here is that Nintendo is violating their patents by having clip on controllers on the Switch. It is a bit hard to feel sorry for Nintendo after they routinely go after their own fan creators so frequently though.

AM2R and Pokemon Uranium did not seek to make money off of Nintendo franchises, instead they offered free content for no other reason than their love of these franchises. Shitty companies like Nintendo are fond of telling lies such as that IP laws oblige then to indiscriminately shut down every derivative work irrespective of whether it is commercial or amateur – but if this is the case then why does Star Trek allow fans to make fan films?! Have Star Trek fan films ever threatened to strip the owners of the Star Trek IP of the ability to prohibit third parties from making money off of the franchise? Of course not! Allowing fans to create and share derivative works does nothing to weaken their ownership of the IP, but then Nintendo does not want to have to compete against superior free Metroid games, just as they do not want to have to compete against the Wii U version of Tropical Freeze!

Gamevice are not doing a good thing here, but it is just so hard to feel the least bit bad on the part of Nintendo, as Nintendo is getting a taste of their own medicine and it is glorious! Fuck them. I hope that Gamevice lose for the sake of patent law, but if they win then the silver lining will be the inconveniencing of Nintendo!

7 comments on “News: Nintendo, Pls!”

  1. @S’NooB I’ve got news for you, @Reetin does Slimes-on-demand now!

  2. “Worry not though, Nintendo, one is certain that your fanbase will be able to commiserate with you – after all, they have been hit with many cease and desist letters recently too!”

    Bahahahahaahahaha!

  3. I am sure that Nintendo will be fine and probably reach some sort of settlement.

  4. At least I already own tropical freeze, even though I never play it.

  5. @Reetin: Nintendo doesn’t settle. They do frequently lose in court, however, because of their unwillingness to settle.

    Remember how a few months ago you said the same thing about Nintendo and how “they will be fine and reach a settlement”? Well, they lost that case. There was no settlement.

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