News: Lord Gaben Ushers in a New Age of Freedom!

Gaben’s Birthday Gift to S’N00B!

Here at The Day Tonight we are very fond of the meme that developers and publishers are hanging on our every word, and run their affairs accordingly – but now it would seem that they also take acute notice of our personal lives, so that they might better celebrate our personal milestones! This is why on June 7 (this author’s birthday) Valve announced that they were removing all content restrictions from Steam with two exceptions. Steam will not allow anything that might be illegal in the United States, and they will not allow anything that is outright trolling. Further, there will be a greater onus on publishers and developers to disclose to Steam content within their games which may be illegal in other parts of the world, presumably so they can disable access to just those areas.

We have to drown out the shit weasels in the gaming press.

Remember to thank Gaben for this next time you take a Steam survey!

This is just as it should be. If a video game is legal to sell under the law of the land, then what gives Valve the moral right to exclude it from sale? This whole situation was necessitated by SJWs within Valve going rogue and banning games, which required Gaben to cease performing miracles to small orphans so that he could go and clean up after the mess his employees had created. Not a great use of his time.

This happened a few years ago with the release of emo angst shooter Hatred, and it happened the week before last with assorted anime titles including HuniePop. In the case of the latter, the developers had even worked with Valve in order to edit their content before submitting the games in order to meet Valve’s guidelines, and in the case of HuniePop the game has been sold on Steam for years without incident before rogue SJWs within the company decided they would ban it from the platform! Well, this has resulted in Lord Gaben throwing wide the gates of Steam to all and sundry, so congratulations faggots, now you are not gatekeeping shit!

Obviously upon announcing the end to arbitrary Steam restrictions gamers rejoiced while pinch-faced GameJournosPros denounced Steam as irresponsible cowards. It is not difficult to see why shit weasels like Ben Kuchera, Brendan Sinclair, and Oli Welsh would be spitting mad at this news, as they have all invested so much in establishing themselves as content gatekeepers for the video game medium, and now with a wave of his hand Gaben has collapsed their entire regressive empire!

It is often said that whatever SJWs accuse others of is actually true about themselves. As such, when Oli Welsh writes “Having appointed itself the god-king of PC gaming, Valve is vacating the throne“, what he really means is that he considered himself to be the arbiter of morality in gaming for all people, and then that nasty Gabe Newell chap turfed him from the throne he was attempting to usurp. Basically Gabe Newell is Jesus, and these exceedingly bitter shitlib bloggers are the merchants that he is casting from our temple. And good riddance!

And never come back!

[GABEN]: ‘Get out of our vidya, and get out of our temple!’

E3 2018:

So E3 is half way through, and the byline for 2018 is most definitely Respakt Whammmen! This is definitely the version of the tradeshow that we get when the goyim vote Donald Drumpf into office. It will be interesting to see the tone over the next day or so of the event!

All in all this has been a great year in which to have zero interest in non-Japanese games. If you do not care about Western games, then all these attempts at social engineering become merely funny rather than rage inducing.

Microsoft

Microsoft actually put on a more interesting conference for once. Granted, most of the interest was generated by their showing of trailers for multi-platform games, but it is still a huge improvement for Microsoft.

Why did Microsoft spend all that money acquiring Gears of War only to destroy it?

Gears of War has been Star Warsed!

Microsoft showed off the reveal trailer for Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. The game is From Software’s Samurai follow-up to Dark Souls, and looks fantastic. It basically looks like Nioh on angel dust. Many people were eagerly yearning for some sign of Devil May Cry 5 at this year’s E3, and so the trailer that Microsoft showed for Devil May Cry V did not disappoint in that respect – though it disappointed in all others. The game looked a whole lot like Dmc, especially in terms of its character models; so much so in fact that one is concerned that Capcom may have allowed Ninja Theory to work on another Devil May Cry game. Details about the game are scarce, so this concern cannot be confirmed or denied. What was shown at least looked more palatable than Dmc, but this author will steer well clear of any non-Capcom Devil May Cry game.

Microsoft showed off trailers for Metro Exodus and Cyberpunk 2077, both of which looked fairly entertaining. The latter game is CD Projekt Red’s follow-up to their smash hit title The Witcher 3, and it is eagerly anticipated by a number of gamers. A re-release of Tales of Vesperia is coming some time in 2018 – though expect the Switch version to get delayed. Finally Tod Howard took to the stage in order to reveal Fallout 77, the trailer looked fairly good – but then looks can be deceptive, as we shall see.

In terms of Microsoft exclusive content Ori and the Will of the Wisp and some sort of Battletoads project were the only things that really looked appealing (everything else looked appalling). Other than the aforementioned games, the rest of Microsoft’s exclusive line-up was comprised of the usual suspects. So we have another Forza game, another Halo game, and another Gears of War. With respect to Gears of War Microsoft has transformed it into Gears of Vibrant Diversity, replacing the male protagonist with a strong independent whammen who for some reason does not need to adhere to the military chain of command. She is seen to be openly insubordinate, and her superiors are all like “Yeah!! You go girl!!“. During the conference very little was seen of Master Chief and the Battletoads, so who would like to bet that they have been gender-swapped too? Go on, make it a three-for Microsoft!

Finally, there was news that Microsoft has established a brand new studio (The Initiative), along with purchasing a further four studios: Compulsion Games, Playground Games, Undead Labs, and Ninja Theory. This was done in order to address the criticism that Microsoft has really weak first party game. This line-up looks much less impressive when one considers that Playground Games and Undead Labs have only ever made games exclusively for Microsoft, meaning that their purchase changes very little about Microsoft’s capacity for developing games.

Bethesda

Bethesda’s conference was a cringy disaster. If one just took a look at what they had to work with, then the conference should have been pretty good – but it was not. It was boring and full of second hand embarrassment.

Bethesda's conference was awful.

There was no point in showing this.

Bethesda kicked off by showcasing Rage 2, but rather than just showing the fucking game, they instead made the audience sit through a barely related song by some singer called Andrew WK, who sang the way that Adam Sandler sounds when he is pretending to be mentally retarded. Bethesda did not even get to the point following the awful music, as they launched into an excessive amount of talking (without actually saying anything), replete with some super awkward silences. So all up Bethesda ended up wasting a huge amount of everyone’s time on what should have been a three minute trailer. This really set the tone for the conference as a whole, as there was way too much poorly delivered talking than could be justified by the game footage shown. Rage 2 looked fine though. Just fine. Post apocalyptic settings are getting a little old to be honest.

Fallout 77 was shown again, and this time it was revealed to be a multiplayer only game, where players can nuke one another from orbit. Probably not a good experience for anyone looking for a proper Fallout experience, but it could be a fun game for trolling other players. And then Wolfenstein: Youngblood was shown off – and just like with Gears of War, Machine Games has discarded Wolfenstein protagonist BJ, and has replaced him with his strong independent daughter who does not need no man! SJWs are Marxists, and so capitalist concepts mean very little to them. That is why Machine Games, who experienced a huge drop-off in sales with Wolfenstein II, have decided to double down rather than fixing their shit. How does it make any kind of sense to take a macho male franchise and then turn it into a franchise for whammen? It does not make sense. At least not in any kind of capitalistic way. But then this is a culture war, and so it does not have to make sense just so long as it attempts to dunk on whoever the rainbow haired loons have determined to be the enemy this week.

There were three other games mentioned during the Bethesda conference, but it hardly even bares mentioning them since they were just glorified splash screens. Doom Eternal, Starfield, and The Elder Scrolls VI. The Elder Scrolls VI in particular is unlikely to even be worked on until Starfield is complete, and so it almost certainly will not see release until the next console generation. People have speculated that these games only even got a mention because Bethesda realised that the rest of their E3 show was just so abysmally poor. Also, the Doom Eternal teaser only showed the classic green doomguy armour (we are unable to see who is inside), so it is still technically possible that doomguy could be replaced with a tranny or something.

* * *

This pretty much represents the halfway point of scheduled conferences. Expect to see wrap ups for Sony and Nintendo in next week’s post, or tune into our nightly Twitch streams for a more immediate response to the day’s events over a calming feed of classic vidya.

Also, list off in the comments how many more classic protagonists you predict will be replaced by stronk independent whammen by the time that E3 wraps this year!

13 comments on “News: Lord Gaben Ushers in a New Age of Freedom!”

  1. The same people who denounced Trump for suggesting that game content needed policing are now denouncing Valve for suggesting that game content doesn’t need policing – is anyone surprised?

  2. @SN: Don’t expect consistency from perennial victims whose whole modus operandi is to scream and complain that everything oppresses them. They can’t get any sympathy-solidarity bucks if things are OK.

  3. I wish Steam would curate its selection not for any ideological basis, but because there’s too much fucking shovelware on there already. That being said, I suppose “caveat emptor” is as liberty-respecting a motto as can be, though I expect this policy will last exactly as long until the first technically-compliant-but-morally-abhorrent game shows up on there, and the hue and cry forces Valve to reexamine their policy again?

  4. @Lane: Steam will be giving you the tools to filter your own storefront. I’m excited to see some tiddies in trash anime games!

  5. They kind of do that already, and I find it annoying. I think I’ve clicked through like 2 lists before I thought, “this is getting in the way of actually playing games.”

    That being said, at this point, I buy so few games because I usually know exactly what I want, and I’ve got a decent enough backlog that waiting for the inevitable price reductions and sales isn’t hurting me, since I’ve all but abandoned the idea of playing multiplayer games with my strange schedule.

  6. @Woland: What we really need is some sort of website that could tell people what is good and what is not. I’m thinking of something clean and without ads, maybe with a purple colour scheme, and a person in charge who has a really good grasp of poetry, literature, theology, and music. Such a thing would be extremely useful!

  7. Oh! Another idea: wouldn’t it be cool if such a site had an international staff representing a diversity of views from around the world? And if they had a really cool cat mascot (the internet loves cats). And maybe a fundraiser to which people could donate, so that they could operate within a small, but workable, ad-free budget, without having to kow-tow to the companies on which they report. That would be awesome. I’m convinced it could work.

  8. Also I just want to say that Bethesda’s conference was the most awkward and unpleasant conference I have ever seen at any E3. It was so amateurish that I am convinced we could have done better, which is really saying something (see our collected works).

  9. Did you not see the Squeenix loose turd of a conference? I mean sure, 15 seconds of a new main series TES game and whatever the dumb shit Fallout 76 is, is plenty bad, but Square just rehashed MS’s conference and said, “lol games.”

    It upsets me they managed to squander all the goodwill of 2013’s Tomb Raider reboot with a subpar sequel and whatever this latest abomination is.

  10. Square’s conference was just game trailers presented without comment. Thus far it is my favourite conference because it didn’t waste my time.

  11. Thanks to Durga, I now have a favourite game of E3; Satisfactory. There were a few games to watch out for, but I think on the whole E3 was lacking this year.

  12. There were definitely some standout announcements this year but no real impressive moments.

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