News: A Nintendo Threefer

Investors Lose Faith in Nintendo

The rise and fall of Nintendo’s fortunes feels like an elaborate troll designed to make rationally minded people doubt their sanity. Numerous times along the Nintendo Switch’s pathway to release Nintendo has fucked up royally, yet when the system launched they were not made to face any repercussions for this. Quite the opposite in fact. Nintendo repeated all the same mistakes that they made with the Wii U, leading to logical industry commenters to predict a similar result, only to be made to look like monkies when the Nintendo Switch met with wild success.

How long until their stock is only worth scratch?
Nintendo Switch stock is in the dock.

Nintendo’s critics can only be confounded so many times before they begin dismissing Nintendo’s faux pas as inconsequential. Thus imagine this writer’s shock at discovering that Nintendo’s somewhat weak E3 showing has decimated their share price. Nintendo’s E3 was by no means great, but is was not the worst thing they have put together in the last two years. A non-RPG Pokemon and an ultimate re-release of last generation’s Smash game is not something that will earn Nintendo much in the way of kudos at TDT, but these are also things that are likely to make more casual gamers very excited. Case in point Switch sales doubled in the wake of E3, meaning that a certain type of gamer saw something they liked during Nintendo’s Direct.

At the start of the year Nintendo shares were riding high at $58.45 a share, but has subsequently lost $20 billion in market capitalisation, sliding to $39.27 this week. This is a really odd position for a company with strong fundamentals to be in. So following a perceptually weak E3 Nintendo’s share price might be expected to lose a bit of value, as investors become slightly concerned about whether this will cause their momentum to slow during the second half of the year. We are clearly beyond this point now though, and it looks like there is something else going on. This smells of speculation and market fuckery. Like maybe investors continue to sell off their stock with the expectation of being able to buy it back later at a cheaper price. Regardless, Nintendo’s stock continues to tumble even as they experience some of the strongest hardware sales of the company’s history. Maybe more Labo will help right the ship?

Nintendo to UK Customers: Womp Womp!

If there were a legit cause for the tanking of Nintendo’s stock, then it would almost certainly be the way they treat their customers. Nintendo of UK to be precise. A few weeks back NintendoLife ran a poll asking how many readers had experienced cracks in the plastic casing of their Switch consoles – the results were alarming. From a sample size of 1000 respondents it was found that a full 20% of them – or one in five – had experienced cracking with their Nintendo Switch console!

Nintendo is frustratingly Nintendo...
Nintendo won’t fix their own busted up hardware.

Now, if through no fault of their own an individual found their newish console breaking due to manufacturing defects, then they might reasonably expect repairs to be covered under warranty. And if they were American then they would be right. UK owners are not so fortunate though, with Nintendo of UK demanding between 150 and 180 Pounds Sterling in order to replace the plastic casing of consoles that are still under warranty.

Recently I saw an article about Switch consoles cracking under pressure. Mine did this and cracked right near the power button, so I sent it in for repair to Nintendo UK. They emailed me, saying that it would cost £150 to simply put on a new back cover. Now this isn’t really that complicated of a job, so why it would cost so much is beyond me. I phoned them up and they simply said that the pricing was fixed, and that whilst they thought it was expensive, they didn’t get to decide. I told them that it wasn’t my fault, and it was a fault of the system, so really I shouldn’t have to pay, let alone pay £150, but they didn’t really recognise my point, so I ended up just asking for it to be sent back.

So Nintendo have manufactured their consoles out of plastic that is prone to cracking. In some cases people that do not even remove their Switch from the dock have discovered that their system had cracked – and yet Nintendo of UK do not see fit to cover these repairs under warranty!

Nintendo Chastised By Hacker

Poor old Nintendo! They simply do not know how to internet! There are currently around seventeen million Nintendo Switches in the wild that can be used to circumvent Nintendo’s online security due to built in hardware exploits, and Nintendo simply does not know what to do about it. Altering the design of the subsequent consoles they manufacture was a good start, but it does nothing to diminish the number of consoles already in circulation.

People's patience is running out though.
The Nintendo hack has left their online a complete mess.

So now Nintendo have not even launched their paid online service for the Switch, and already the platform is rife with online cheaters! In Nintendo’s marketing for Splatoon 2 they have repeatedly portrayed it in an esport setting, yet they clearly do not have the online security chops to back this up. For a Redditor by the name of PleaseAddAntiCheat, the online situation has just become too much. Because of this Mr AntiCheat decided to hack his X power so that he was the number one player on all four splat zones. As such he made the board read “Please Add Anti Cheat“, in order to send a strong message to Nintendo.

I figured that someone needs to deliver a message to Nintendo.

And a loud one.

Nintendo, you’re welcome to ban my console any time. My purpose was to call attention to the current issue that plagues the game, and I’ve done that. But my message is, please make protecting your players the top priority.

Please add anti-cheat.

Nintendo definitely received this message loud and clear. Subsequently Mr AntiCheat revealed that Nintendo had responded by dropping his X Power down to zero, though they still have not issued any sort of formal response to this incident. Of course they have not issued a formal response, they are Nintendo. We all understand that Nintendo does not get the internet, yet they will be charging for online shortly, so this attitude of theirs really is not good enough anymore.


  1. If my Switch starts cracking in the first year I wouldn’t send it to Nintendo – I’d take it back to where I bought it. If the damage is not through general wear and tear the shop has a duty to replace it or fix the problem.

  2. @Imitanis: Here in America there are no laws governing that sort of thing. Most shops offer only 30 days return for damaged and defective merchandise. Some even offer less (or none). It’s quite carpe diem, hence the widespread use in America of the return through manufacturer warranty systems.

  3. “Maybe more Labo will help right the ship?” hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

  4. If only Sega were still around to do what Nintdendon’t.

  5. It seems as if Nintendo’s PR team is cracking under pressure. Perhaps they should see about getting that repaired.

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