News: Nintendo Destroys Lives

Useless Nintendo Destroys Lives of ROM Archivists

Hey Reggie, go fuck yourself!

As we look to the future… our subscription service, NSO, Nintendo Switch Online is going to be the place where you can play our classic content.

We haven’t even made the full library of NES games available yet. So this content has to be optimised for the Switch environment. That’s something we’re working very hard to do. Like you, I look forward to playing Metroid through the Nintendo Switch Online service and we’ll be continuing to release content that way.

Can you imagine that, Reggie sitting down to a game of Metroid? Like surely that is something he totally does on the regular! The corporate lump known as Reggie is assuredly an old hand at Metroid – that in spite of the fact that he is regularly outclassed by blind special needs children when it comes to playing Smash!

Nintendo is the double threat: evil and incompetent!
Mister Metroid has fucked up another thing!

Well hey there fellow gamer! I totally do all of my classic gaming on Nintendo Switch Online! It’s where all the coolest kids go to get their hands on 2-3 rad NES ROMS a month (until Nintendo looses interest)! Metroid crawls faster on our console! I hope to see you there, duder!

One can hardly wait for two years from now when Nintendo finally begins to trot out the same ten SNES ROMS that they put on everything. Like who cares if we never get anything new to play? Just so long as we can get Super Metroid crawling on the Switch, so that we can run that version alongside the copies we already own on Wii U and 3DS! Like, what is the fucking point? The same handful of games every goddamn time!

Readers will no doubt recall that over the past few months Nintendo has been going to war with ROM archive sites for their having the audacity to actually do a decent job curating Nintendo’s legacy games, unlike Nintendo. For this terrible crime it was this week revealed that the former owners of LoveROMS and LoveRETRO have had to capitulate to Nintendo’s settlement terms, which will see them owing Nintendo damages to the tune of twelve million dollars! Poor Nintendo lost so much money from all those people downloading ROMs on their PCs! Why, if it was not for LoveROMs Nintendo would have sold literally dozens of additional copies of Super Metroid per customer!

Former site owners Jacob and Cristian Mathias have had to hand over ownership of the sites to Nintendo, and according to the conditions of the settlement the two are prohibited from owning or running a ROM archiving site ever again. All that remains of LoveROMs is a grovelling apology:

Our website,, previously offered and performed unauthorized copies of Nintendo games, in violation of Nintendo’s copyrights and trademarks. acknowledges that it caused harm to Nintendo, its partners, and customers by offering infringing copies of Nintendo games and has agreed to cease all such activities. To access legitimate Nintendo games online, please visit for information about the Nintendo Game Store.

On the upside though, the settlement also forced Jacob and Cristian Mathias to hand over all of the site’s files to Nintendo – so perhaps that will help them to find a couple of extra ROMs to put up on Nintendo Switch Online for next month!

Playstation Classic Uses an Open Source Emulator

From one console giant attempting to destroy vidya enthusiasts for their game archival aspirations, to another who is merely content to grift on their hard work! Ever since Sony announced the full game line-up for the Playstation Classic this author has pulled no punches when describing just how truly pathetic and unrepresentative that line-up is, and many other people have been just as vocal in voicing similar sentiments. This week the Playstation Classic became even more of a laughing stock though, as it has been discovered that the device is not using one of Sony’s own emulators, but rather PCSX ReARMed, an open source variation of PCSX Reloaded designed to run on ARM CPUs.

Welp... You can't beat free!
An open source emulator, are you serious?!

The truth about the Playstation Classic was discovered earlier in the week when Sony opened their doors to a group of fake journalists, who discovered the PCSX open source license under the licenses tab in the device’s menu interface. This comes as a bit of a surprise since the PS Vita is powered by ARM CPUs, and the PS1 emulator that Sony created for it was an absolute beast when it came to scaling the game screen to varying sizes while maintaining pixel precision. It likely just comes down to laziness. PCSX is extremely accommodating when it comes to being reskinned with custom menus, and it already supports save states – and so rather than modifying their own emulator, Sony have opted to instead use a hobbyist emulator which already has the features they want.

This certainly beats Nintendo’s hypocrisy of using ROM sites to obtain Virtual Console ROMs, before turning around and suing them into the dust. Sony has already sued the Bleem emulator into the dust – Bleem won the court battle, but Sony destroyed the company’s finances, forcing them out of business – and now Sony turns around and decides that they would like to profit off of the hard work that the emulation community does for free. Well, there is nothing to say they cannot do that, but it really is not a good look for them – especially when Nintendo actually gave half a shit when designing their own classic consoles!

Sony Will Miss E3 2019

After wowing the audience with smelly lesbian kisses at E3 2018, Sony has shocked the gaming world this week by announcing that they will not attend E3 2019. This is on top of their late September announcement that they will not host PSX this year! So what gives? Are Sony looking to become industry hermits like Nintendo? Well, no. This is all strategic, and has more to do with the looming release of the PS5 than anything else.

It had better have some games!
Our first decent look at the PS5 will come at PSX 2019.

Sony was actually beaten to their announcement by a Sony insider, who took to Reddit to reveal their E3 absence a full day before Sony came out with something official. This is only important because of what else was stated in the thread. Apparently most studios already have PS5 dev kits, Sony will give the PS5 some kind of small reveal in mid 2019, but the system’s full reveal will occur during PSX 2019, with PSX traditionally taking place around December. This likely means that the PS5 will release some time between March and July of 2020. Given how many forthcoming PS4 exclusives are still on the horizon, it should now come as no surprise as to why Sony would want to miss E3 2019 – their final remaining PS4 titles have already been announced, and they would prefer not to show off the PS5 in early June.

PS experience returning, Most devs already have dev kits for ps5 ( Spoiler: It’s a monster), Sony prepping hard for ps5 and one of the reason for no e3 next year because they blew all their load this year and got nothing new to show next year (They want to show new stuff at psx)

Of course nothing is set in stone. Sony will likely spend 2019 biding their time in order to see what Xbox is up to, and then adjusting their plans accordingly.

In a vaguely related piece of news, the Linked In profile of a Square Enix employee who was part of the Luminous Studios team this week revealed that he was working on a title for the PS5. It is an interesting coincidence that Lumious Studios has made the news for a second consecutive week. Hajime Tabata made no bones about the fact that he looked forward to developing something that was not Final Fantasy at his new studio, so for him to then suddenly resign certainly raises a few questions. Was Square Enix trying to strong arm him into beginning work on Final Fantasy XVI for PS5 since his was the only large Square Enix studio not currently working on something? If that is not the case, then were they instead trying to strong arm him into developing PS5 port of Final Fantasy XV, Kingdom Hearts III, or even Final Fantasy VII Remake: Episode 1, so that Square Enix has something to release for PS5 during its launch window? Regardless, it is going to be super interesting to see what exactly Luminous Studios is working on, because right now Hajime Tabata’s resignation is a complete mystery.


  1. I’d rather Sony took a year off than have another lackluster conference. Microsoft’s looked better last year.

  2. @Imitanis: Fair enough, but I think that proceeds from a continued undermining of the purpose of E3 which was to give the industry a chance to see progress being made and for interviews/meaningful discussion about the direction of development. Instead, as a result of opening it to the public, it has turned into a glorified PR event, and the chance for actual ‘journalism’ to take place has dwindled to almost nothing. Every conference is just a ra-ra for the fanboys, so if there’s nothing to ‘hype’ them, then it really is seen as better not to come.

    Ideally, it would be serious press only, the events would be low-key, and there would be some considerable time given over to substantive questions posed by people who want actual answers and won’t just settle for PR speak and misdirection.

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