News: Canvas Is Back on the Menu, Boys!

The Worldwide Canvas Shortage Is Finally Over

Well this is a huge relief. The worldwide canvas shortage has finally come to an end. The situation had become so grave that even multimillion dollar gaming companies had been unable to lay their hands on enough canvas to fulfill their commitments to their customers, yet just as suddenly as it started, the floodgates opened up, and the markets were suddenly awash with canvas, allowing business to return to normal.

Canvas is back on the menu!

Crisis averted!

This comes just in the nick of time for Bethesda, a company who through no fault of their own were unable to fulfill their commitments to the customers who bought into their $200 Fallout 76 collector’s edition. They had to switch out the bundle’s high quality canvas duffle bag for a low quality nylon one, but this was hardly their fault, as there was simply no canvas to be had. Just as it looked like this sticky little jam would land Bethesda in a costly class action lawsuit however, canvas suddenly became available again, and the crisis for Bethesda was averted!

We are finalizing manufacturing plans for replacement canvas bags for the Fallout 76: Power Armor Edition. If you purchased the CE, please visit https://beth.games/2QDropM and submit a ticket by Jan. 31, 2019. We’ll arrange to send you a replacement as soon as the bags are ready.

This is going to end up costing Bethesda a lot more than than it would have cost to just produce the proper bags to begin with. Customers were essentially paying $140 for the additional tatt that comes with the Fallout 76 collector’s edition, so it defies belief that Bethesda would have to screw down the margins even further. Was ninety percent pure profit not enough for them? How greedy do these monsters have to be in order for them to second guess themselves as having gone too far?

Tabata Unveils New Company

This week Final Fantasy XV‘s chief architect and wrecker unveiled his new development studio, JP Games, just in case readers wanted to know which developers to avoid in future. If Tabata could not manage to make a decent game with the full financial backing of Final Fantasy behind him, then what chance will he have as an indy developer?

Luminous Studio will likely be just as terrible without Tabata.

The legacy of Final Fantasy XV is a strange and twisted one.

I started up my own company called JP Games, Inc. Right now, we are preparing for a target January 2019 launch. And to everyone who has assisted me until today–I kindly ask for your ongoing support.

When Tabata mentions that he is gearing up for a January 2019 launch, he means the launch of his studio, not the launch of any sort of game that they might be working on. Presumably we are still mercifully several years away from such an abomination – and it will probably end up being a Japanese exclusive phone game regardless.

Unfortunately things do not look much better over at Luminous Studios. After Tabata’s dramatic alleged resignation last month, a replacement has finally been named. Takeshi Aramaki, the lead programmer on Final Fantasy XV, has been appointed as the new head of Luminous Studios. It is unclear whether Aramaki is intended to be a long term studio head, or whether he is merely a place holder studio head until a more suitable boss can be found. We already know that Luminous Studios is working on a AAA PS5 game, and so it makes a certain kind of sense to promote someone who is already up to speed with the project. Regardless, this is another great example of sterling Square Enix management, and they pretty much only have themselves to blame for giving Tabata his own studio.

Soyny Finally Opens Up About PS4 Censorship

The past year has seen a transition of power away from Sony of Japan to Sony of America, which operates out of California. This appears to have been brought about by the Japanese public’s reluctance to buy into the PS4 ecosystem, and the retirement of Kaz Hirai. This has resulted in a massive pogrom against sexualised Japanese content, led by Playstation’s Californian headquarters. Worst of all this appears to be targeted directly towards weeb games with an anime aesthetic. Games with realistic graphics like Red Dead Redemption 2 still have no problem with getting away with sexual content, but any game with anime derived character designs are getting done over for even the most arbitrary breast jiggles. This is presumably because they think that cartoons are for dumb children.

Not on Playstation you don't!

Oh, you like lewd weeb shit?

Senran Kagura 7even producer Kenichiro Takaki recently confirmed that the game would be delayed in order to censor the PS4 version of the game:

Recently, regulations for sexual depiction have become stricter worldwide. Coming from this, we have to develop games in a way so that they won’t be misunderstood.

Because of that, I think it will take some time. We want to make it happen, and we’re thinking about how to do that, and various works overall.

The situation is far from acceptable, but after months of silence Sony finally seems to be willing to talk about what has been going on. Earlier this week at a fan Q&A Sony of Japan’s president Atsushi Morita was asked what was up with the anti-Japanese software pogrom, to which he replied:

About the censorship, we tried to meet global standards. Regarding the balance of the freedom of expression and safety for children, it’s a tough problem to deal with.

This is obviously bullshit. Sony are not trying to meet global standards, they are trying to meet the globohomo standards of California, since that is who is now calling the shots. At least the PR run around is better than deafening silence though. Imagine being so contemptuous of your Japanese developers that you do not even fill them in on your ruinous policy changes. This is the experience of Igrasil Studio, who had to create a change.org petition just to get an audience with Sony:

Hello friends, I’m about to talk with Sony UK next week, they can’t fix the problem since they’re not authorized to change something but they’re able to get in touch with the HQ at least.

I’ll let them know what the problem is and why its kinda important for their future. Especially for the PS5 or similar products if they want to win the next console race again.

So the studio has to start a petition in order to get the ear of a powerless division of the company, who can then pass along messages to the decision makers in California. That is some next level contempt. Here is a protip for Igrasil Studios though, the corporate fatheads in California do not care about what you have to say, even if it ends up costing them a little bit of business. Right now they are feeling woke AF, and are high on their own supply of flatulence.

The PC is obviously the first port of call for weeb gamers who like a bit of lewd content in their vidya, but now the Nintendo Switch looks to be a more appropriate second place choice than the PS4, because woke AF Californians have taken control of the platform, and they are determined to drive it off a cliff with no survivors.

5 comments on “News: Canvas Is Back on the Menu, Boys!”

  1. “Nobody is going to take away your games.”

    Not that we ever believed that, but the current state of affairs is pretty discouraging nonetheless. I have been a console guy for my whole life, and I wonder if those days are ending. Fan service in games is something that I can take or leave and generally isn’t very important to me. But having the morally self righteous CA leadership calling the shots on what kind of content is acceptable for me just makes me livid. I am strongly considering giving the ps5 a pass.

  2. When it comes to the content of literary products, generally speaking, the only people who should be making decisions about what gets published and what does not is the creators themselves.

  3. There have been a few games over the last year that havn’t seem light of day in the West thanks to these new policies by Sony. I hate it.

  4. We should all be very thankful that the Japanese still buy Nintendo Switches – could you imagine if Reggie ran Nintendo worldwide? It would be the end of JRPGs on the system.

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