News: Super Defecto

Super Nintendo Games Found on Switch Online!

This week a hacker by the name of Kappucino has datamined the Nintendo Switch’s Nintendo Online app, and it sure is full of a lot of Super Nintendo games. In spite of the poor state of the meager titles available on the Nintendo Online app, Nintendo seems to be just sitting on a pile of 22 Super Nintendo games which they could just flip a switch and release at any time, but instead prefer not to. Four different emulators have also been discovered within the Nintendo Online app: one for NES, one for SNES, and two for unknown Nintendo platforms. It is not possible determine which platforms these emulators are for due to the fact that they are using code names, but it is most likely that they are for the N64 and GBA, while it is less likely that they are for Virtual boy and GameCube (including Wii). The full list of SNES games that are just sitting on the Nintendo Online app consists of:

Will they even come out at all?
Nintendo is just sitting on all of these games.

Super Mario Kart
Super Soccer
Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past
Demon’s Crest
Yoshi’s Island
Stunt Race FX
Kirby’s Dream Course
Pop’n Twinbee
Star Fox
Contra 3
Kirby Super Star
Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts
Kirby’s Dream Land 3
Super Metroid
Super Mario World
Star Fox 2
Super Punch-Out!!
The Legend of the Mystical Ninja
Super Mario All-Stars
Breath of Fire 2

Yep, they sure do look like all the usual suspects! There were hundreds of Virtual Console games available on the Wii, but it is almost as if after that experiment Nintendo decided that since people tend to just buy a handful of their favourite NES games and a handful of their favourite SNES games, then it would be more cost effective to just make everyone buy the same roster of 20 games. It is an anti-consumer mentality, but then Nintendo is a very anti-consumer company. It is unclear exactly which star constellations Nintendo is waiting to align in order to begin releasing SNES games, but there is even odds that after being datamined Nintendo will just delete these SNES games on principles, seeing as the company is really big on cutting off their nose to spite their face. We saw this with the deletion of a NES golf game which was originally intended to release in order to celebrate the birthday of a former employee. If we never see SNES game on Nintendo Online, then it will be because Nintendo has thrown a tantrum over the discovery of this news.

Cigars and Mustaches and Kitties, Oh My!

Square Enix is a special company. Not special in the way that, say, a fine piece of custom furniture is special, but rather in the sense that a child whose favourite food is red crayons happens to be special. The company has improved somewhat since the days of Yoichi Wada, but such improvements are limited in nature, and the company is still in a fairly bad way. The new year has seen current Square Enix CEO, Yosuke Matsuda, layout his plans for the year ahead, and they are nothing good.

Nier Automata and Octopath Traveler would not have been given a proper budget under Wada.
Yosuke Matsuda is an improvement over Yoichi Wada, but not by much.

First up Matsuda goes over the list of new technologies which present financial opportunities for Square Enix in 2019.

In 2018, we saw multiple new technologies make robust strides toward practical business use. Smartphones have already reached the entire world. Adoption of VR and AR technologies has shown an especially marked increase in the enterprise domain, and in the entertainment content space, they are being used not only in game content, but also for new services such as “virtual YouTubers.” With the subsiding of the cryptocurrency bubble, the use of blockchain technology has spread to a variety of non-cryptocurrency domains as well.

Unfortunately smartphones are key to Square Enix, for obvious reasons. Final Fantasy XV: A New Empire has earned $518.4 million since its June 2017 release, and $375 million in 2018 alone, making it far more profitable than Final Fantasy XV proper, and something that we will never be rid of in the immediate term. VR is now a failed technology (again), so it is unclear what Square Enix could even do with that. The mention of the blockchain just seems wacky though, and goodness knows what a ‘Virtual Youtuber’ even is. Is the regular type of Youtuber not retarded enough for Square Enix?

Matsuda sees the biggest growth area ahead to be that of cloud gaming streaming game content to gamers:

cloud streaming services for gaming have at last begun to show signs of taking off. Streaming is likely to bring a number of new platform operators into the market in addition to the existing console providers, while platform holders are also joining the PC gaming space. These developments produce a growing number of avenues through which game publishers and developers can provide content. In particular, game streaming services will be the ultimate driver of a rapid transition from the sale of games in boxes to digital consumption. Streaming also lends itself to new subscription-based business models, so we believe deciding how to engage with these forthcoming trends will be key to future growth.

That is right, just like VR, 2019 will be the year that cloud gaming finally takes off! It may have sunk the Xbone, but that is because the Xbone was not released in 2019! Perhaps Square Enix knows something we do not though? Maybe Soyny of California told them that the PS5 would be a purely cloud-based streaming machine? Probably not though.

But Square Enix will not have to go it alone in 2019, as circumstances have conspired to force Chinese game companies to look towards markets outside of their own domestic borders, on account of government crackdowns on gaming:

many Chinese publishers and developers are ramping up efforts at growing their international presence, including by actively engaging in M&A activity and business alliances in regions other than China. We also intend to pursue a global strategy that involves building collaborative and cooperative relationships with them.

In 2019 Matsuda views Indians (dots not feathers) as Square Enix’s biggest potential growth market, and have charged their Japanese employees to make overtures towards this demographic.

we plan to relaunch our dormant Indian subsidiary and pursue the robust expansion of our Indian business. Given India’s developing telecommunications and payment infrastructure, we see it as an extremely promising market for entertainment consumption in terms of both the size of its population and its economic power… We will work to ensure a powerful launch and to establish solid underpinnings for our Indian business.

Expect big Bollywood songs and dances in Final Fantasy VII Remake! On the plus side, a Cricketing JRPG in a similar style to Inazuma Eleven would be pretty dope!

Regardless, the Square Enix Group has their mission statement for the year ahead:

The entire Square Enix Group will work to ensure that the year is also one of dramatic new progress for us.

Progress for Square Enix would be to erase everything they have done since the turn of the century, but what are the chances of that happening? Instead the word ‘progress’ spoken in this context fills one with a sense of icy dread.

Final Fantasy VII Event Rumours

As with many such leaks, these come unverified and should be taken with a grain of salt, but they do sound plausible enough. Information and footage for the forthcoming Final Fantasy VII Remake have been rather thin on the ground ever since its premature 2015 announcement, but now Kingdom Hearts III is almost upon us, and so Square Enix is looking to transition attention over to Final Fantasy VII Remake – this much is a matter of record. Now according to an alleged insider leak Square Enix is looking to transition their attention over to the game by hosting a two hour event similar in nature to Final Fantasy XV Uncovered. This is set to happen in April of this year.

They probably still look like shit.
These characters have been redesigned since the initial reveal.

The event will showcase reveal videos for all of the game’s main characters. These videos will include a brief CGI clip to showcase the new design of the characters coupled with their musical theme, followed by a clip of them in combat to show off their (allegedly) unique fighting styles.

The showcase will also place a lot of emphasis on explaining the nuances of combat and how the materia system will work. This is the aspect that is certain to make our faces red with apoplectic rage when it turns out that Square Enix have gutted the splendid battle systems of Final Fantasy VII. The presentation will also feature an environmental trailer, which will for the first time reveal redesigned locations from outside of Midgar.

The game will be split into three parts, which everyone already assumed would be the case. Many people had also assumed that the first game would not feature a great deal of content outside of Midgar, and that it might finish up as early as the end of the G-bike sequence on the way out of Midgar – this is allegedly not the case, which is definitely a good thing. What is not so good is the fact that Square Enix have cut out all the Zack Fair scenes, and they plan to sell them back to us as DLC. Like splitting Final Fantasy VII into three separate $60 games simply was not enough for Square Enix, and so they have to nickle and dime us for Zack Fair DLC as well!

Square Enix want to have Nobuo Uematsu and an orchestra at this event, but that will depend on the state of Uematsu’s health. There will be a bunch of mobile games and side stuff announced at the event, because of course there will. Finally, the release date of the first installment of Final Fantasy VII Remake will be announced at the event, and it will allegedly set for the end of 2020. Again, this is all unverified, but it all sounds quite plausible.


  1. “The showcase will also place a lot of emphasis on explaining the nuances of combat and how the materia system will work.”

    I mean, why use the battle system FROM THE GAME ITSELF THAT PEOPLE LOVE why do that why do that at all when we can make a really shitty new battle system from scratch!

  2. I like SNES game. There are a great many that I would love to play on Switch in portable mode. I don’t understand why Nintendo does not want my money.

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