TSM Episode 585: The Plop

It seems that not even giant Japanese mechs can defeat the Chinese Flu!
In 2011, we thought TGS could do ANYTHING!

Download Link: Released 2020.05.11

Akademician, Imitanis, Durga, and especially SiliconNooB recap the site’s Final Fantasy VII Remake playthrough and consider an early June start for the site’s Xenoblade Chronicles playthrough, before delving into the avalanche of shovelware known as The Plop.



    In Days of Ruin, Advance Wars,
    The game is in three acts;
    The script is long and torturous,
    From it, I have some facts:

    Meteors have struck the Earth,
    A dust cloud hangs o’erhead:
    The main character, by name of Will,
    Is not amongst the dead.

    A cadet in Rubinelle he was,
    Before the meteorfall.
    Now buried in the rubble there,
    Beneath a ruined hall.

    Yet he survives, and crawling forth,
    A vision turns his head:
    A Sergeant, nicknamed The Beast,
    Is adding to the dead!

    Oh happy day!, catastrophe,
    The Beast had long awaited
    Ever-desiring to go rogue,
    As, in fact, was fated.

    This Sergeant Prepper, called The Beast,
    Innocents are Grist to his mill.
    ‘Til Brenner’s Wolves, the 12th Batallion,
    Intervene, thus saving Will.

    The 12th Batallion soon joins up
    With the Army of New Rubinelle,
    Pledges fealty to General Greyfield,
    For Brenner will not rebel.

    Then, in the battle ‘gainst Lazuria,
    The NRA is victorious:
    But Greyfield, overcome with rage,
    Commits an act most notorious–

    The Lazurian general, Forsythe,
    Gen. Greyfield orders executed.
    Brenner and the 12th Battallion
    Realise that he is morally polluted.

    As Greyfield pursues the heroes, madly,
    Through an urban dystopian route,
    Brenner gallantly sacrifices himself
    To delay the mad general’s pursuit.

    But Greyfield unleashes his ultimate weapon,
    The city, entire, destroyed:
    Brenner is dead, and so too are those
    Whom Greyfield himself had employed.

    But Lin, Brenner’s Lieutenant, is not
    Likely to succumb to her pain:
    Confronting at last the General Greyfield,
    With one shot, she ends his reign.

    Sic transit gloria mundi!
    The sense of victory is fleeting, alas,
    Have you heard of Intelligent Defence Systems?
    They make Weapons of Destruction, en masse.

    It transpires that their Doctor Caulder
    Sold first to Lazuria, then Rubinelle
    And then, ‘midst the devastation they caused,
    Sought to further deepen their hell

    By creating biological weapons,
    With truly horrible experimentation,
    Leaving humans bursting in floral blooms
    Of ghastly and elaborate pigmentation.

    From high above in his airship, The Great Owl,
    Doctor Caudler spreads biological terror,
    Until the 12th Batallion at last,
    Pulls it down and liberates the air.

    Then Caulder, fleeing to his stronghold,
    The laboratory that he calls ‘The Nest’
    Makes his last stand, and there is destroyed,
    By Will, Lin, their friends, and the rest.

    Oh right! There’s also a girl
    An amnesiac named Isabelle.
    She knows lots of stuff, but other than that,
    How she fits in, I’m afraid I can’t tell.

    And that is the end: the dust clouds soon part,
    The sun rises, and in hope shall portend
    Farewell to the misery, and in the town of New Hope,
    The game complete, credits roll, that’s the end.

  2. I’m still playing FF7R, just took Aerith back home in Chapter 8. I think I’ve averaged around 3 hours a week – a leisurely pace. I feel like this will be a more interesting stretch coming up. I’m also playing Trials of Mana with my other time, which has been a lot of fun and easier to put a few hours into a night. I’ve found FF7R to be best digested for about an hour at a time.

    Like S’noob said, you should measure the playthrough with the game. FF7R was completed by most people within a month, but it’s also a new game so people are more excited to play it. If you put up a playthrough for an old classic like Earthbound, I think it helps to have 3 months, so time on that can be squeezed in with other priorities.

    The Plop – it’s the minimalist poetry of digital refuse.

  3. I think for Xenoblade Chronicles 3 months will be very helpful!

    FFVIIR just have the most horrible timing for me it seems. Managed to play half an hour or so this last week. It’s not a great time for hours in front of tv.

  4. Oh and I totally think it makes sense to start the playthrough 29th of May. I know I’m definitely not waiting, I’m waiting on that lovely collectors edition ^^

  5. I’m still working on XCX going on 2 years, and I’m about halfway through. C7 or 8 I think

  6. We appreciate the feedback regarding playtimes. It’s looking more like a 1 June start for Xenoblade Chronicles Definitive, but stay tuned for an official decision on that front!

  7. That would be a good time too.

    Oh and listening to these readings of game listings is worse after doing proof reading for weeks xD

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