News: The Day That Laughter Stopped

Made in the USA

It always pays to be wary of the early coverage of a console, particularly in cases where it would require a lot of effort in order for a Youtuber to be good at their job. With the launch of the PS5 a lot of people came out with videos about how impressive the PS5’s cooling solution was, but literally their only data point supporting their claim was that they had pointed a thermometer at the thick plastic sides of the PS5 and found that they did not get too hot during use. This is a pointless measurement since it literally does not matter how hot a system’s plastic casing gets, provided that it does not get so hot that it begins melting. Gamers Nexus did an actually competent heat measurement of the PS5, where they measured each of the system’s components individually, and their finding should be of concern to PS5 early adopters.

Smouldering hot like the pits of doom!
The PS5 runs a bit hot…

The combination of the giant fan and giant heat sink appears to be sufficient for the system’s APU (the combination GPU and CPU), so no worries there. The problem arises with the system’s RAM, which runs very hot. There is no heat sink which makes direct contact with the PS5 RAM. The system RAM is located in two clusters of four chips on either side of the APU. One of these clusters has a heat sink located on the other side of the motherboard from where it is situated, and runs at around 70 degrees Celsius (158 degrees Farenheit). The other cluster has no heat sink on the motherboard on the other side from where it is located, and this cluster of chips runs at 93 degrees Celsius (or 199.4 degrees Farenheit). This takes these RAM chips beyond the temperature threshold that they would normally be rated for, and is in fact very close to the temperature at which water would normally boil!

Gamers Nexus points out that Sony likely received a letter of exception from the chip manufacturers for the PS5 to run them at higher than stock temperatures, and Sony likely did a fair amount of their own internal testing to ensure PS5 endurability, at least in the immediate term. Regardless of any mitigating factors though, this still bodes exceptionally poorly for the system’s longevity. All that Sony’s internal testing means is that Sony of California have satisfied themselves that most consoles will survive beyond their warranty period, after which owners will have to pay extraordinary sums of money to Sony in order to get them fixed, unless of course they happen to be Japanese, in which case Sony might not even service them!

The real kicker here is that rather than help to dissipate heat, the huge plastic fins on the PS5 actually trap heat within the system! Gamers Nexus found that by removing both of the plastic fins before running a game all of the system components (including the poorly cooled RAM chips) were running cooler by about 5 degrees Celsius. 5 degrees of heat dissipation is no joke, and people have installed water cooling into their PCs for smaller gains than that. Obviously playing one’s PS5 in this ‘naked’ state is hardly ideal, and presents its own set of problems. Those fins are there to protect the system, and likely help in keeping dust out. This does however go to show just how far from ideal the PS5 cooling solution is though. It was pointed out that the PS5 cooling fan is running well below spec, and that Sony could adjust it through the firmware to do a better job in cooling the system, yet Sony has not done this as yet due to the fact that they would prefer to keep the PS5 quiet than for it to be adequately cooled. One has his doubts as to whether Sony of California will ever choose to adequately remedy this situation.

The PS5 looks like an unappealing product in general, but if one just has to get it, say for Final Fantasy XVI, then it would be vastly preferable to wait for a hardware revision. These launch PS5s do not look as though they have been made to last.

Capcom Hack Provides Treasure Trove of Info

Capcom’s systems have been subject to a massive and malicious hack. A hacker group is trying to extort Capcom for 11 million dollars worth of Bitcoin. Capcom are standing firm against this, and in response the hackers have leaked a limited chunk of Capcom’s data to put the pressure on them – with curious gamers the beneficiaries! The amount of data leaked was a 60GB chunk, and the hackers claim to have over a terabyte, so this story may have legs. It seems likely that some details within this initial batch of information have probably not yet been reported, and then if the full terabyte of information gets leaked people will be going through it for quite some time. The information comprising this story consists of a set of release dates that have been circulating through the game media, as well as a few rather more interesting odds and sods sourced from 4chan. There are a lot of very exciting announcements here, but it is important to remember that a lot of this information predates Covid-19, so the games mentioned may release later than stated, or in some cases not at all.

These hackers think they have their hands on something worth 11 million dollars.
Could this hack potentially see the source code to Resident Evil VIII leaked online?

The following release date estimates use the Japanese financial year calendar, which begins on the first of April and ends on the 31st of March. This means that, for instance, a game that is listed for quarter 4 2021, will actually be releasing between January and March of 2022. With that being said, have at it:

Resident Evil Outbreak – Q4 FY21
Dragon’s Dogma 2 – Q2 FY22
Street Fighter 6 – Q3 FY22
Rockman [Mega Man in North America] Match – Q3 FY22
Resident Evil 4 Remake – Q4 FY22
Monster Hunter 6 – Q2 FY23
Biohazard Apocalypse – Q3 FY23
“SSF6” – Q4 FY23
Final Fight Remake – Q2 FY24
Power Stone Remake – Q3 FY24
Ultra SF6 – Q4 FY24
Resident Evil Hank [likely, “Hunk”] – Q4 FY24

Some big stuff here. A new Dragon’s Dogma game, the next numbered Monster Hunter entry, Resident Evil 4, Power Stone and Final Fight remakes, and no fewer than three different releases of Street Fighter VI!

Also, it must be pointed out here that the source that has been quoted above (IGN) lists Resident Evil Outbreak here, but a well known Capcom insider has clarrified that this is actually Resident Evil Revelations 3.

The 4chan information is even more interesting than the stuff that has been going around the news sites; partly because it is more detailed, and partially because it concerns some more niche oriented titles:

Concerning Resident Evil Village, or Resident Evil VIII if you want a less retarded name, it appears that the rumours were true and there will be a current generation version releasing for PS4 and Xbox One – or at least that is what was planned. It is planned for release in April, and there will be a demo.

There is a new Resident Evil battle royale game codenamed Project Highway/Village Online. Highway was the codename for the extremely poorly received Resident Evil Resistance, so this forthcoming title appears to share its roots with that absolute turkey! It will release September of 2021.

The Dai Gyakuten Saiban duology appears to have received a mostly complete localisation. These games are spin off titles from the Phoenix Wright series set at the dawn of the 20th century. The games were 3DS releases, but were never localised for Western markets, but now the Switch prints money. Some sites are reporting the game’s Western title as being The Great Ace Attorney, but one is unsure whether this is an official title, or just their best guess at a translation. The Games will be announced in April 2021 for release in July 2021. The games are being released on Nintendo Switch and PS4. Both versions are getting a physical release in Japan, but only the Switch version will be receiving a physical release in America due to the fact that Sony does not support Japanese content. No physical releases in the PAL regions, but luckily the Switch is region free, so time to hit up Play-Asia!

There is something referred to as Project Guillotine which is releasing for Switch in February and other platforms in May. Project names often do not mean anything, especially because companies do not want an outsider to be able to interpret them – but ‘Guillotine’ immediately brings to mind Ghouls ‘n Ghosts. It probably means nothing though.

Project Reiwa is scheduled for May, with no platforms mentioned.

Monster Hunter Rise has already been announced for Switch, but a PC version will be releasing in October 2021. The Switch will be getting demos in January and March.

Monster Hunter Stories 2 has already been announced for Switch, but it will also have a PC release. Both versions are targeting a June 2021 release.

Capcom will be releasing Resident Evil 4 for Oculus VR, which apparently has nothing to do with the Resident Evil 4 remake, so if you ever wanted to have to long into Facebook in order to play the original Resident Evil 4, then prease rook forwald to this announcement!

Capcom has a new multiplayer shooter game aimed at streamers which it titled Shield. It will probably be as boring as it sounds.

The full source code to The Misadventures of Tron Bonne, The Umbrella Chronicles, and Devil May Cry 2 have been released. People have already been able to recompile the games on old development kits, and will now presumably be able to natively port them to a range of new platforms. One would especially expect to see Tron Bonne running on hacked Switches. An intriguing, albeit outside, possibility is that someone may finally be able to fix the enemy AI in Devil May Cry 2 to make the game actually playable.

Ace Attorney 7 is in development, and is targeted for release in the third quarter of the 2021 financial year. A collection of entries 4-6 of the Ace Attorney series is being contemplated. The original trilogy collection must have been quite successful on the Switch.

Google paid Capcom 10 million dollars to put Resident Evil VII and Resident Evil VIII on Stadia, while Sony paid Capcom 5 million dollars for Resident Evil VII VR and the timed exclusivity of DLC.

Finally, people have discovered a slide presentation detailing how to be woke by pretending that actual genders do not exist, which was some pretty alarming stuff. If one were to be optomistic about this then they might point to the fact that Capcom has never been successful with their online shooters, and so when creating their battle royale game they may have brought in some outside Western experts in the field, who chose to ram a bunch of woke tranny nonsense down their throats in the bargain. However, Capcom has increasingly been bringing in Westerners to help write the for the Resident Evil series, so they may be going for broke!

Again, it is important to remember that much of this information is pre-Covid, so there is no telling the extent to which games may be delayed or cancelled. The single most interesting thing one found in looking at this information was the fact that the hackers were able to release the source code to some of Capcom’s older games. If they have access to some of Capcom’s older game source code, then might they also have the source code to newer or even unreleased games? Is their release of old game source code meant as an implicit threat if Capcom fails to pay up then the next game leak might be the source code to Resident Evil VIII? It stands to reason that if they got their hands on old games, then they may have got their hands on some new ones too.

Tidus Gets Excommunicated by Yevon

Tidus is known as the laughing guy. He is always laughing, often annoyingly so. Those inclined towards his defence might say that his laugh is an acquired taste, while the less forgiving might view it as a crime unto the medium of gaming. Either way, the days of Tidus laughing are now over, as this week he was excommunicated by the Church of Yevon!

This week the pious congregation at Resetera, a site that is only powered by Yevon-approved machina, discovered that Tidus actor, James Arnold Taylor, had created a secret account on Parler, a site that is powered by forbidden machina salvaged by the no-good Al-Bhed, in order to promote himself! Using the forbidden machina is taboo, and so now Tidus having a job is also taboo because the enemies of Yevon should all starve to death in the gutter!

You're a bad man!
Heretic! Stay away from the Summoner!

No… Now I can’t enjoy Final Fantasy X anymore.

Wow, that really sucks. That site needs to be taken down.

Essentially anyone with a Parler account is likely to have shitty views.

Delay the game and replace Ratchet’s audio.

Fucking hell. Time to unsubscribe from his Youtube channel. He was one of my favorite VAs…

So uncivilized.

The voices of angry Resetera randos, while righteous in their sputtering indignation, still only account for so much. All seemed to be lost until Maester Kook Soywalker himself, Mark Hamil, stepped in to chastise Taylor for using a web site that was not fact-checked by Yevon!

Anyone who knows you knows that these accusations are untrue. Beware of Parler, a self-described “pro-free-speech” website that promises not to fact-check content as Facebook and Twitter increasingly remove or flag viral fake news and misinformation. Fact-checking is important.

For shame! Without Yevon fact-checking every post, old mate Tidus might find himself believing all sorts of Al-Bhed propaganda, like the anti-Yevon canard that it was a bad thing when their ‘Home’ got celebrated with happy festival fireworks! Who dislikes fireworks? Tidus has not been thinking straight ever since he got too close to Sin… And it certainly did not help that he got his head blown off by a blitzball.

Ever since that day he couldn't get ahead...
Getting his head blown off was a huge setback for Tidus.

Tidus will not be using non-approved machina again any time soon. Yevon was practically doing him a favour in this instance.


  1. I know computer components are made to endure high temperatures, but yikes! I would definitely be holding off on that purchase, if at all possible.

  2. I keep trying to tell people don’t bother with the PS5 until they come out with the next version, but they still spent the past couple weeks trying to order something all day they still haven’t gotten.

    Final Fight Remake (although the last word makes me immediately wary) is my favorite part od the Capcom list. Final Fight 4 would be better though.

    I appreciate the style of the last story.

  3. When they say Final Fight Remake, I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if it was closer to a reboot. Also, I really hope they do actual pixel graphics, as opposed to the animation style used in Streets of Rage 4. I’m sure this was greenlit because they saw Streets of Rage 4 doing well, and I’m worried that they will just copy it.

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