News: Capcooming to the Giant Lady

Resident Evil VIII Release Plans Detailed

This week plans for the release of Resident Evil VIII were nailed down, or at least as nailed down as you can expect given the current environment, with the game scheduled for a May 7 release. The worst kept secret surrounding Resident Evil VIII‘s development is that Capcom were planning on last gen versions to support the PS4 and Xbox One, and it looks like they have pulled it off, or are at least confident of doing so before launch. Looking at the gorgeous visuals on display with the current gen versions of the game, it is somewhat difficult to imagine it running on the PS4 and Xbox One. That being said, the RE Engine is nothing if not scalable, and the previous three Resident Evil titles have run at 60fps on PS4 and Xbox One, so it may well be feasible for Resident Evil VIII to run at 30fps on the last gen consoles with just a few visual downgrades. Fingers crossed we do not have another Cyberpunk 2077 situation on our hands, where the last generation versions of the game are barely playable.

A good many people are already planning to deliberately let her catch them.
Lady Dimitrescu will attempt to prevent players from escaping horny jail in Resident Evil VIII.

A demo for the game was also made available directly after this announcement was made, but only for the PS5. Sony obviously paid Capcom millions of dollars in order to secure this demo for their users, but alack most PS5s appear to be owned by scalpers at present. A cursory glance at Youtube shows nothing close to the number of demo playthroughs that we saw with Resident Evil VII, Resident Evil 2, and Resident Evil 3, with mostly legacy media shill companies covering the game. That being said, this is not a huge loss because the PS5 demo is just a walking simulator, and a gameplay demo will be made available to all platforms at a later date.

The game itself is pretty much Resident Evil 4: FPS Edition! Previously it was clear that Resident Evil VIII gave off a certain Resident Evil 4 vibe due to its village setting, but now it is very clear that this similarity is more than just a surface level thing. The merchant system of Resident Evil 4 is returning, with a rather corpulent fellow (named the Duke) accompanying main character Ethan on his journey in order to upgrade his weapons. And how then to store said weaponry? In an attaché case of course! Resident Evil 4‘s attaché case is returning, and it seems to be just as we remembered it!

Resident Evil VIII Gets Thicc

Probably the biggest talking point (in more ways than one) to come from this week’s Resident Evil VIII information reveal has been the existence of an 8-foot tall vampire woman named Lady Dimitrescu, who dresses in a flowing white dress with huge heaving mommy milkers! She has been the subject of a very large amount of hornyposting on the internet. It has been speculated by fans that this character is actually loosely based on the Japanese urban legend yokai monster known as Hachishakusama, who takes on the appearance of an 8-foot tall woman dressed in a white sun dress and straw hat – and who is able to mimic the voices of a child’s family in order to lure them away and abduct them. Perhaps the most enduring popularity that the Hachishakusama character has enjoyed up to this point has been as the subject of hentai and lewd manga, where the character, who was originally depicted as abnormally thin, has been altered to imbue her with huge thicc hips and pendulous milkers – and it is specifically this interpretation of the character which appears to have inspired the Capcoomers to create Lady Dimitrescu.

Will the game feature cutting edge milk mechanics?
Lady Dimitrescu may be based on the porn version of Hachishakusama.

The premise of Resident Evil VIII sees Ethan travel to a remote village in search of his abducted son, and the Resident Evil VIII demo sees players assume the role of the ‘maiden’, who has been abducted and is presumably an adolescent given her status as a ‘maiden’ – so the Hachishakusama urban legend being used as source material seems quite plausible. If indeed Lady Dimitrescu is supposed to be a loose interpretation of the Hachishakusama character, then it will be the second time that she has appeared in a high profile Japanese horror game. Hachishakusama has also appeared in 2015’s Fatal Frame: Maiden of Black Water, though her appearance there was based on a less lewd interpretation of the character. Anyway, regardless of the character’s origins, this author just wants to take the opportunity to thank the horny Gods that Capcom has not yet implemented a Square Enix style ‘ethics’ department, because problem-coloured heads must be exploding over at Sony right now!

Capcom Revises Up Their Earnings Forecast

The Resident Evil 3 remake faced a really tough reception online when it released in April last year. Clearly it was not what the hardcore Resident Evil audience wanted. They had just enjoyed the Resident Evil 2 remake the year before, and they wanted that same thing again. What they got instead was a six hour super fun action-horror game (with a heavy emphasis on action), just like the original Resident Evil 3: Nemesis was a shorter and more action focused title. It is kind of confusing as to why they expected Resident Evil 3 to be just like Resident Evil 2 when the original games were so different from one another, but maybe they expected Capcom to have as little regard for the original direction of Resident Evil 3 as they did themselves. Then again, maybe they expected Capcom to respond to the huge success of the Resident Evil 2 remake by making the Resident Evil 3 remake just like it – which is actually insane given that Resident Evil 3 was already deep into development by the time that Resident Evil 2 was so well received. Either way, this author felt at the time that history would probably be far kinder to the game. It looks like we may be beginning to see that now.

The game did just fine for Capcom tho.
There are plenty of people who wanted to see this good game fail.

This week it has been revealed that Capcom has revised their earnings forecast significantly upwards based on the stronger than expected sales of Resident Evil 3. When Resident Evil 3 released it was surrounded by an unrelenting internet shitstorm for not being Resident Evil 2, and so their previous earnings forecast was presumably drafted with that scenario in mind. Regardless, it would appear that Resident Evil 3 continued selling in dribs and drabs long after release, bolstering Capcom’s finances to a position where they are significantly better off than they were at the start of the year. Capcom’s position was then further strengthened by Monster Hunter World‘s Iceborne expansion, along with strong pre-orders for Monster Hunter Rise.

The long and the short of it is that Capcom are forecasting that net sales will be 8.2% better than expected, increasing by 7,000,000 Yen, from 85,000,000 Yen to 92,000,000 Yen. This will see the company handily best their previous year’s net sales of 81,591,000 Yen. Investor dividends per share will also increase from 168.62 Yen per share to 196.72 Yen per share, which also beats out the previous year’s dividend of 149.41 Yen per share.

Resident Evil 3 was never going to be a tentpole release in the Resident Evil series, but it is good to see that this short, enjoyable game is beginning to shine through the cloud of negativity that has surrounded it since launch. There are plenty of casual series fans who probably liked the game just fine, and told their other normie friends about it. You cannot really kill off a good game from a series that is as popular as Resident Evil.

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