The Luminous Engine still lives, and Nintendo has had a big Direct in the news of the week!
Following the conclusion to the third Ashes test at Headingley, the shocking and incredible result causes SiliconNooB’s health to fail entirely. But Caspius knows all too well that video game news will be enough to lure the Australian from his deathbed.
As England’s Ashes chances falter at Headingley, Caspius begs for a miracle in order to triumph over his Australian foe. Bup arrives, bringing news of Yazuka remasters and Overwatch competitive meta changes, leading to his swift ejection from the panel.
The Ashes continues and Caspius is plunged ever further into despair by the underwhelming performance of England, but with Gamescom on the horizon, the prospect of new video game news lifts his flagging spirits–and even Nintendo is trying to help!
Square Enix cancels a tourney over death threats, two BioWare lead producers quit inside of a week, and Gearbox bans users for wrongthink in the news of the week!
When Caspius overhears a few seconds of The Man with the Machine Gun from the Final Fantasy VIII soundtrack, his desire to play the game overwhelms his senses, spiralling The Day Tonight into yet another playthrough of Square Enix’s time-compression JRPG.
The Final Fantasy VIII remaster is getting a physical release, 2k and Gearbox send thugs after a YouTuber, and two new Analogue retro consoles are on the way in the news of the week!
SiliconNooB is afflicted with Shadow Madness, rendering him unable to appreciate video games unless they contain the word ‘shadow’ in the title. Look forward to his future reviews of Shadow of the Colossus, Shadowrun, and Castlevania: Lords of Shadow.
The ESA has doxed over 2000 journalists, SNK is going to release new Neo Geo hardware, and Nintendo game attach rates are just insane in the news of the week!
The gloves are finally off when Caspius and SiliconNooB discover Nintendo’s lackadaisical celebration of the 30th Anniversary of the Mother series: no localisation, no re-release, no port, but rather a weekend spirit event for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.