Sony dissolves Japan Studio in order to bolster tech demo development, claims that PS5 is the fastest selling console in US history, and then makes their customers use fruit as controllers in their comical pranks of the week!
Japanese PS4 game approvals are now determined by the whims of boxed wine drinkers in California, Blizzard is deleting negative criticism of Diablo Immortal, and Sony really fucked up the Playstation Classic in the news of the week!
The PS1 legacy is being squandered on smartphones, Final Fantasy VII is now an action game, and Microsoft is gussying up a fallen woman in the news of the week!
Nintendo blocks fan projects from The Game Awards, Wild Arms and Arc the Lad return in the worst possible way, and Watch Dogs 2 is shaping up as a major flop in the news of the week!
Final Fantasy X-3 looks to be a near certainty, Resident Evil players are an aging demography, and Titanfall cannot maintain a consistent framerate in the news of the week!
Square Enix unveils a game which is not a radio drama, Final Fantasy: Dimensions is crippled by a bug, and the launch of PSOne Classics on Vita is badly botched by Sony of America in this week's under-performing news hiccups.